


Minor Keys, Major Struggles: Poly(phonic) Version

by Norbez



Category: Code:Realize ～創世の姫君～ | Code: Realize - Guardian of Rebirth (Visual Novel), Code:Realize～創世の姫君～ | Code:Realize ~Sousei no Himegimi~ | Code:Realize ~Guardian of Rebirth~ (Anime)
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - School, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Awkward Crush, Awkward Romance, BDSM, Birthday, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Presents, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Victor, Bisexuality, Blindfolds, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Classical Music, Collars, College, Comfort, Comfort Sex, Comfort/Angst, Crushes, Depression, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, Dominance, Dorks in Love, Drama & Romance, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Feeding, Feeding Kink, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Food Kink, Gags, Gay, Gay Panic, Gentle Doms, Gentle Kissing, Hand Jobs, Heavy Petting, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Light Petting, Love, M/M, Master/Pet, Masters, Multi, Music, Nerdiness, Nervousness, Nonbinary Character, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Panic Attacks, Pansexual Character, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, Psychological Trauma, Punk, Punk Rock, Romance, Romantic Fluff, School, Sex, Shyness, Sub Drop, Submission, Teasing, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transgender, Trauma, University, bisexual van helsing, enby, sucking dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:07:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 30,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Norbez/pseuds/Norbez
Summary: Victor is a violinist who needs help with his first real gig. When his world collides with the handsome punk Van Helsing and his enby pianist girlfriend Cardia, will he be able to commit to the relationship?  Or will his past consume him?A Code: Realize College AU.  Main story is complete, but the fic is open for side stories.  Contains sexual content.
Relationships: Cardia Beckford/Abraham Van Helsing, Cardia Beckford/Victor Frankenstein, Cardia Beckford/Victor Frankenstein/Abraham Van Helsing, Victor Frankenstein/Abraham Van Helsing (Code: Realize)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 6





	1. A Chance Coffee Meeting

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Minor Keys, Major Struggles](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25387435) by [Norbez](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Norbez/pseuds/Norbez). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a poly remix of my fic Minor Keys, Major Struggles! This chapter is the same as the original MKMS (https://archiveofourown.org/works/25387435/chapters/61562053) so if you've read it, you can skip to the end of Chapter 2.
> 
> Songs for the characters:   
> Victor’s song: Be Calm by fun. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qMXBUjm8tM  
> Van’s song: Good God Damn by Arcade Fire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKew61xGaz8  
> Cardia’s song: Preach by Saint Motel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2qyTZuf3H0  
> The song of the three of them as a couple: Infinite Universe by Beautiful Chorus. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpN8Vwsv21E

“Darn . . . this is hopeless.”

Victor sighed as he entered the Curious Café, running a hand through his creamy brown hair. His first concert was tomorrow night, Saturday, and he still hadn’t found someone else to help him set up! Man, where were your friends when you needed them. . .?

Well, that wasn’t exactly fair. Impey was at a robotics tournament for their college, after all, not returning until the end of the weekend. Lupin had a conference and wouldn’t come back until Monday. It really couldn’t be helped. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t bummed out about it.

Well, like any college senior, he could use a break. Victor walked up to the counter of the café, rubbing his chin as he decided what to order. Finally he said, “Iced pumpkin latte, please,” and paid the proper amount. When he walked to the other end of the counter, someone caught his eye, and he sucked in a breath.

Sitting in the nearly-empty building was, of all people, his crush from chemistry class, Van Helsing. The man was dressed impeccably, as usual, wearing a blue collared shirt underneath a spiky punk jacket. His beautiful purple eyes, framed by rectangular glasses and dirty blond hair, were narrowed, and before Victor knew it, they were staring directly at him.

Victor jumped and quickly turned away, blushing as he grabbed his coffee from the counter. Shoot, did Van know? Had he realized why he was staring? _Calm down, Fran, calm down. It’s probably nothing_ , the chemistry student reassured himself, taking a deep breath. He turned around, and suddenly found himself face-to-face with Helsing himself.

Well, face-to-face wasn’t quite accurate. The other man was tall, at least a head taller than Victor, and he found himself looking at Van’s muscular chest. Victor also found himself looking at the main reason why he didn’t want Helsing to know about his crush: the cross dangling around Van’s neck, surely a sign of biblical principles that taught male relationships were not to be permitted. What would his classmate think of a bisexual disaster like him? He was afraid to find out.

“Hey Van!” Victor said, trying to sound casual. “Did you need something?”

“You were staring at me,” Van said simply. His eyes stared down, unchanging.

“Sorry about that.” Victor laughed, his finger nervously tapping against the coffee cup. “I just recognized you from chemistry is all! I don’t usually see many other students here.” It was true, the Curious Café hadn’t drawn the attention of the college yet. Victor usually found it a quiet place to reflect on his thoughts—though tonight, Helsing’s appearance threw a wrench in that plan.

Van shrugged. “Thought I’d try something new.” His glare unchanging, he gestured to the table he was sitting at. “Care to join me?”

“U-Um, I,” Victor stuttered, taking in a surprised breath, “sure! I’d love to!” _Darn, was that too obvious?_ But his crush didn’t seem to notice, and as Helsing walked back to the table, the shy chemist followed him. Both sat down, and there was an awkward silence as Van sipped his black coffee. He didn’t seem eager to start a conversation.

“So why are you in Professor James’s chemistry class?” Victor asked, trying to hide his blushing face behind his cup. “Are you a chemistry major too?”

Van shook his head. “I’m a Forensics major,” he answered simply. “Chemistry is one of my electives.”

“Oh.” Victor had partially hoped his crush would be in his field, if only to discuss formulas and mixtures with someone he liked.

He tried to hide his sadness, but the keen-eyed Helsing spotted it, and said, “Sorry to disappoint you.”

“N-No! It’s fine!” the chemist said quickly, taking a gulp of coffee. Trying to shift the mood, he asked, “What are your weekend plans?”

Van shrugged. “Study and sleep,” he replied. “You?”

“Um, well. . .” He took a breath, and said, “I-I actually have a performance tomorrow. Just a little gig down at Isaac’s Corner. My first one, actually. They have this thing called ‘Live Night’ where they get performers to come play for their customers, and I got a slot.”

“That’s nice.”

 _He doesn’t seem interested. . ._ “I’m actually looking for somebody who could help me set up the speakers and work sound,” Victor continued. _Maybe he knows someone?_ “The guy who was supposed to help me bailed. . . Do you know anyone who could do it?”

Helsing took another sip of coffee, then set down his cup. “Who was supposed to help you before?” he asked.

Victor sighed. “Herlock from our class, but he texted me yesterday that ‘something came up’ and he couldn’t do it.” He took an angry gulp of his beverage. “Really left me holding the bag. . . I’m worried I’ll have to cancel my gig at this rate.”

Van nodded. He seemed to be listening more intently now . . . but maybe that was just Victor’s hopeful imagination?

“I could do it.”

The chemist almost spit his drink in surprise. “Y-You what?” he asked, looking up at Van.

“I could help you with setup and sound,” Helsing repeated with a shrug. “I have experience with that kind of thing.”

Victor blushed, adjusting his large glasses. Was it possible for this guy to get any more attractive? “Are you sure? What about your studying?”

“It’s not much. I can finish it on Sunday.” A small smile cracked through Van’s blank exterior, and he asked, “What, do you want me to help or not?”

“I-I want you to help!” Victor said quickly. “That would be wonderful.”

“Good.” Helsing returned to passively sipping his coffee, though he pulled out a notebook and pen with his other hand. “What time is your gig?”

“6:30pm.”

“And it’s at Isaac’s Corner?”

“Yes. How much do you charge?”

“No charge this time. Consider it a favor, since it’s your first performance.” He scribbled down the information, and put the notebook back in his pocket. “Alright. I’ll be there at 5pm for setup.”

“Great!” Victor couldn’t hide his delighted grin. “Thank you so much!”

“It’s nothing,” Van said. He stood up from the table, his coffee finished, and held a hand out to Victor. “Want me to take your cup?”

“Oh, thanks!” Victor gave it to him, and his hand grazed the other man’s, just for a moment, and his face flushed at the warmth. “I-I’ll see you then,” he managed to squeak.

“Naturally,” Helsing said. Victor watched him throw their cups in the trash, and then leave the café.

“Holy moly,” the chemist said, burrowing his face in his hands. How awkward had he been around his crush? Oh boy, what did Van Helsing think of him now?

He took a deep breath. The past was the past. . . Well, in theory it was, anyway. He wasn’t good at letting go of prior events, was he?

No, he wasn’t.

He. . .

For a moment Victor found himself back at that time, deep in the darkness of his mind, and he gasped, clutching his arm. Not there. . . Not there! Desperately he tried to escape the memories, but they came over him like a wave, refusing to let go.

He felt fingernails burrow into his skin, and the man gasped at the sensation, returning back to reality. He looked down and saw blood running down his arm. _That’s embarrassing. . . At least Van didn’t see that._ He was more grateful than ever of the Curious Café’s low customer rate; nobody had noticed him.

After using a napkin to clean things up, Victor sat back down at the table. Taking out his notebook, he began going over his songs once again, as one could never have them too memorized.

In the back of his notes, one line had been written, then erased.

_I can never be forgiven._


	2. Playing

After using the afternoon to study, Van decided to walk to Isaac’s Corner. It was a nice day out, after all, and he could use the fresh air.

It was hard not to stay vigilant as he journeyed to his destination. Nobody in this town would recognize him, surely, but still he found himself checking people’s faces and glancing around to check his environment. Old habits died hard, especially in new places.

Soon enough, he reached the restaurant. “Isaac’s Corner” was written on a wooden sign, hanging from a peg. Helsing could hear plenty of chatter inside, and he took a deep breath. Then, he opened the door, and entered the building.

He looked around, taking in the atmosphere. Isaac’s Corner was a cozy place, packed with people chatting and eating. Tables filled this side of the room, and on the other side was a bar and small stage area, with curtain closed.

“Van! You came!”

He looked over to see Victor Frankenstein sitting at a table, waving and smiling like a child. The man was wearing a dress shirt underneath a green sweater vest, a fashion choice that perfectly complimented his eyes.

“Of course I did,” Van replied. “I told you I’d come, so here I am.”

“Well, I’m glad to see you.” For some reason, the chemist looked relieved. Had he not been expecting Van to keep his word?

“Let’s get started,” he said, pushing the matter aside. “The sooner you’re miked, the better.”

“Right.” Victor stood up, and gestured for Van to follow. “Let’s go backstage. The manager already unlocked it for us.”

The chemistry major led him around the restaurant, walking along the walls to the designated door. But just as they reached it, a figure stepped in front of them.

“Holy shit,” the man said, staring at Van with an expression of awe. Van sighed irritably—he had tried to avoid this, but he knew exactly what was coming—and Victor stopped walking, staring with a confused expression. “You’re Van Helsing, aren’t you?”

“Do you know that guy, Van?” Victor asked.

“KNOW him?!” The man turned to Van’s friend, incredulous. “Do you not know this guy is? He was a roadie for a ton of punk bands across the state! We worked together at a Smashing Skulls concert!”

“Really?!” Victor’s eyes widened, and his face turned red. Smashing Skulls was a well-known group—even he had heard of them.

“It’s nothing,” Helsing replied, wanting nothing to do with this conversation. He didn’t even remember who this guy was, and frankly, he didn’t care.

But the man pushed forward. “So why did you quit, dude? Everyone knew you were gonna be working with a huge band someday!”

“That’s none of your business,” Van replied. His face remained the same, but internally, his limit had been pushed. He shoved the man aside, and continued his way to the door. “Now if you excuse me, I have business to attend to.”

Victor was flustered for a moment, but he quickly caught up with his classmate, closing the door behind them. “Sorry, Van,” the chemist said.

Van frowned. “For what?”

“I-I had no idea you were so famous!” Victor stuttered. “Are you sure you want to do this for free?”

“I offered to, remember?” he reminded the chemist, letting out an annoyed sigh. “And I’m not famous. The only ones who know me are those who worked behind the scenes, like me.” Though it might come across like he was trying to be humble, he was just trying to state the facts. Not to mention that he hadn’t expected anyone to recognize him in this tiny college town. . .

“Still, though.” Victor walked further in, looking around for something, then stopped. “Wait, that means you must’ve been working in the band scene for a while. . . How old are you?”

“26.”

“Oh!” 

Van Helsing almost laughed at that reaction. Almost. “You?”

“24. I, um, entered college late. For health reasons.”

The man ran a hand through his hair. Van could see he was embarrassed, though he hadn’t the faintest idea why. He decided to change the subject. “Where’s your instrument?”

“Oh, here!” Victor showed it to him. It was a small green case, featuring stickers of test tubes and chemical formulas.

“Violin? Viola?” Helsing asked, noticing the size.

“Violin,” the chemist replied, showing him. It was an electric instrument, with a sleek white body and ports for amplifiers and headphones, but also chipped wood and scratches that clearly showed its age. “I originally started playing to help myself relax,” Victor continued, closing the case. “Then I started writing some songs here and there, which I’d play for my friends. They encouraged me to look for a gig somewhere, and . . . well, here we are.”

“Who are your friends?” Van looked around the backstage area, getting to know his surroundings, and soon located the microphones and sound system.

“Uh, Impey and Lupin. Impey’s actually in our class; he’s an engineering major.”

“I remember him.” How could he _not_? The obnoxious guy in the jumpsuit, who was always pelting the professor with questions, was pretty hard to forget. Helsing looked at the front of the stage and found the speakers, locating the wires quite quickly.

“Oh, you do? He’ll appreciate that.” Victor laughed, and brought up a stool to the center of the stage. At the same time, Van grabbed two microphones, and propped them next to the chair.

“So, you have songs. That means you’re playing and singing?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“Then sit down like you’re going to for the performance, so I can mic you properly.”

Victor obeyed, and Van got to work. It was easy to get back in the swing of things, and for a while, he was in a trance, doing his job with quiet ease. After adjusting the microphones, he hooked up and tested the speakers while Victor tuned his instrument, then moved on to the sound board.

“Alright, we have to test the mics now,” Helsing said. “Play and sing something for me.”

“Sing what?!” The chemist sounded flustered.

“Anything you want.”

“Ok.”

The curtain between the backstage and main stage area was still open, and Van watched Victor get to the ready, holding up his violin and bow. All at once, the atmosphere around man seemed calm and fierce, like a chess player about to make the first move. It was very unlike the nervous classmate Helsing knew.

And then, he began to sing.

“~I could drown myself in metaphor. . .~”

If he was being honest, Van knew he had heard better. He had listened to many vocalists throughout his career, after all, so he had some experience with talent. But he had to admit that Victor was top-tier, carrying a light, crisp voice with nearly perfect melody. And the violin that accompanied it was played perfectly, not a single note fumbled or missed.

He had to admit he was impressed.

But now was not the time to focus on his personal feelings. Helsing looked down at the soundboard and made a few adjustments, accentuating Victor’s natural talent. When he finished he said, “Alright, I’m done,” and the playing immediately stopped. He shut off the microphones, for now.

“Phew,” the chemist said, sounding relieved. “So, we’re all good?”

“Yes.” Van rolled up his sleeve and checked his watch: it was 6:10. They had twenty minutes until the concert. “Let’s sit down backstage and relax.”

“O-Ok!”

He grabbed two folding chairs and placed them next to each other, sitting and gesturing for Victor to do the same. The other man did so, plopping down with a nervous aura about him.

“Worried about your performance?” Van asked. 

“Oh! Yeah, I guess. . .” His classmate took a deep breath. “I know it’s just background music for a dinner place, but this is my first time performing in front of people like this,” he explained. “You have some experience in this scene, so . . . got any advice?”

Helsing had been asked this many times before, and by now, he knew exactly what to say. “Have confidence in yourself and your talent,” he said, shrugging. “That’s all there is to it. If you don’t have that, you’re not going to play well.”

Victor scratched his head. “Huh.”

“’Huh’?”

“I mean, I’m glad you didn’t tell me to picture the audience naked or something.” The chemist laughed awkwardly. “But it’s pretty hard for me to have confidence in myself. How do _you_ do it?”

No one had asked Van in a long time, and he was momentarily caught off guard. “Well. . .” He sighed, and decided to answer the question truthfully. “I don’t always believe in myself. But I know logically I’m good at what I do, so I hold onto that.”

There was a moment of silence. “That was honest,” Victor finally said.

“Would you rather I not be?” Helsing asked.

“No! I’m glad.” The chemist laughed. “Thanks, Van.”

He nodded. “Of course.”

“. . . So, what classes do you have?”

They sat there chatting until 6:25, when the manager of the restaurant walked backstage to see them.

“You’re all ready?” she asked, giving the two a smile.

“Yeah, all good!” Victor said cheerfully. Van gave her a nod.

“Fantastic.” She walked away. “We’ll announce you soon.” Then she was gone.

Helsing turned to his classmate, and saw he looked more nervous than ever. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this,” Victor squeaked out, burying his face in his hands. His breathing was audible, and quite fast. “Oh God, why did I think I could do this? I can’t even. . . I can’t. . .”

“Relax.” Van put a comforting hand on the chemist’s shoulder, and he saw Victor freeze up. “You’re good at what you do. Your talent is obvious. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“You think I’m talented?” Now the man was blushing.

He nodded. “Naturally. I don’t say things that aren’t true.”

“That’s . . . really nice of you.” Victor smiled. He took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. “Thanks, Van. I appreciate that.”

“Of course.” He gestured to the stage. “Now get up there. Everyone’s waiting to hear you.”

The chemist did, and Van Helsing began to close the curtain that separated the backstage area—but then, he left it open, just a crack. In case Victor needed to see him for reassurance.

He got seated at the sound board. For a moment, there was only the sound of people chatting and eating, but then, somebody tapped a microphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the manager said, “I’m proud to announce the next live guest tonight at the Corner. As you continue to enjoy your food, please enjoy the melodies of . . . Victor Frankenstein!”

Van pulled open the stage, and people around the restaurant clapped. Van watched through the crack in the curtain, and saw Victor freeze up. He held his breath. Would his classmate follow through, or would he fail?

Thankfully, the chemist did the former. He was only frozen for a brief moment, and then he held up his instrument and bow, that same atmosphere of calm ferocity about him. Then, the man began to play.

Van smiled as he listened to the beautiful music. Victor’s voice and instrumental skill was fantastic, and his lyrics were surprisingly good, too. He played relaxing compositions for the audience, fitting for the restaurant setting, and some people clapped between songs. When the performance was complete, and he lowered the violin, plenty of restaurant-goers showed their appreciation with applause. When Victor headed backstage, his walk was confident, and Van saw his face was full of pride.

“How was it?” the chemist asked hesitantly as he slipped behind the curtain. “Come on, be honest with me.”

“You were great,” Van said, adjusting the soundboard and switching it off. “Your musical skills are excellent.”

Victor turned red. “Seriously?”

He nodded. “Of course. Now, shall we break down the stage?”

They did so, and soon, the two were enjoying dinner together, compliments of the restaurant owner for “bringing such good cheer to his establishment.” As they were talking, the next performance was getting set up on stage, though Victor wasn’t paying much attention to it. Victor, Van noticed, looked shifty as they ate, and he was starting to understand why. . .

“So, you’re just studying this weekend?” the chemist asked, taking a fry from the basket they were sharing. He hadn’t really been eating much.

“Yes,” Helsing replied. Hmm . . . if he wanted to confront Victor, perhaps now was the best time. “I need to ask you something.”

“Uh, s-sure!” he said, gulping down his food. “What’s up? Is it something for class?”

Van shook his head. He wiped his hands daintily with his napkin, and looked right into Victor’s eyes. “You have a crush on me, don’t you?”

His classmate froze, and his eyes went wide. With those huge round glasses, they looked even wider, and Helsing could see he was flustered. “Well, I. . .” He turned away. “Um, maybe. . .”

“It’s not a maybe question, it’s a yes or no,” Van said, sipping his black tea. “It’s fine if you do.”

Victor looked up at him in surprise. In the background, a woman started to play the piano. “Really? But your cross . . . aren’t you. . .?”

He shook his head. “It’s just a reminder of where I’ve been, not a religious item,” he explained. Unconsciously his hand reached up and touched it, and for a moment he saw Aleister there, chiding him and laughing. No—he had moved far beyond that man. And he would do anything to prove it.

“Oh.” Victor looked relieved. “I didn’t want to tell you because I thought you might hate me.”

“Well, I don’t,” Helsing said. “But you haven’t outright answered the question, have you?”

The chemist laughed. “Can’t put anything past you, can I?” His hand went to his hair, and Van watched him run his fingers through the strands, a series of nervous fidgets. “I. . .

“I do,” Victor finally admitted. “Have a crush on you. I hope that’s ok?”

“We’ve been over this. It’s fine.” Van took a sip of tea. “You’re someone I admire as well.”

“Oh. . . Wait, you admire me?!” The chemist looked shocked.

“Naturally. You’re a hard worker, one of the most talented scientists I’ve ever seen,” Helsing explained, thinking back on their class and just how many people were already going to Victor for help, “and, if your performance is any indication, your musical abilities are superb.”

“Well, thanks.” His classmate smiled. “That means a lot, coming from you.”

There was a short silence. Van put down his tea, which was now finished.

“Would you like to go on a date?” he asked.

Surprise and delight filled Victor’s face. “Really?!” he exclaimed. “I mean, yeah! I would love to!”

Van smiled. “Fantastic.

"But I have one condition.”

“What is it?” Victor asked, looking rather nervous.

Van pointed behind him, at the piano player on stage.

“You have to meet my girlfriend.”


	3. A Date For Three

_Victor: So . . . I have a date today._

Victor sent the text apprehensively, holding up his phone as if the message would reach Lupin and Impey faster. To his surprise, his cell buzzed almost immediately with a reply.

_Impey: OMG!!!! d=(´▽｀)=b With who?????_

_Victor: Van Helsing._

It wasn’t a _total_ lie.

_Impey: So you finally told him how you feel? Good for you dude!!! (=^▽^=)_

Victor laughed despite himself. Before he could reply, Impey sent another text.

_Impey: Btw how was your performance? Sorry I couldn’t come. (⁎˃ᆺ˂)_

_Victor: It’s fine, nbd. Van actually helped me set up, and he figured out I have a crush on him lol._

_Impey: Omg lol. You HAVE to tell me everything when I’m back! Coming home from the tournament tonight. (＾∇＾)_

_Victor: I will! I g2g now tho, going to prep for this date._

_Impey: You’re gonna be great dude!!! Bye!!! (*⌒∇⌒*)_

Victor shut off his phone and picked up his violin, taking a deep breath. All he needed to do was relax. Just relax, like his therapist taught him . . . and everything would be ok.

He picked up his headphones—they had a vintage style to them, like brass, that Victor found quite comforting—and plugged them into the violin. Then he began to play.

His fingers moved over the neck like magic, and his bow skimmed the strings with beautiful precision. Every time he picked up the instrument, part of him doubted he had any skill at all, and he was certain that his music would be terrible. But when he actually played, those fears were whisked away, and Victor was able to let himself melt into the song, becoming one with the instrument.

The chemist’s hands moved up and down his violin, and as he lost himself in the music, he was able to let his mind drift a bit. He drifted back to the events of the night before. . .

 _”Your girlfriend?!” A hot blush spread on Victor’s face. Fuck, the guy was straight the whole time?_ And _dating someone else? Damn, why did he have to fall for him?!_

_“That’s right,” Van said._

_“I’m sorry,” Victor blurted out. “If I’d known you were taken already, I never would’ve—"_

_“Relax,” Helsing interrupted him. He smiled. “We’re a polyamorous couple, Victor, and we’re both_ very _pansexual. We’ve actually been looking for a third. Would you like to go on a date with us tomorrow?”_

_The chemist froze. For a moment Van’s words refused to process, and when they did, he was stunned. “I. . . I’m bi, but I. . .” He didn’t know what to say, and even if he did know, his mouth refused to move._

_“You can meet my girlfriend very soon, in fact,” said Helsing, gesturing toward the stage behind Victor. Victor turned around, and for the first time, saw the pianist who had been filling their dinner with music._

_She was a doll-like woman, with green, pool-like pupils that he almost got lost in, and long, silky brown hair, complete with long bangs that nearly covered her eyes. She wore a beautiful frilly dress that went down to her ankles, cloak-like in its appearance. As she played her final song, Victor noticed that her face looked full of peace, and part of him sunk into jealousy—he only_ wished _he was that at-ease when he performed._

_When she finished, everyone in the restaurant clapped, including Van and Victor. “I’ll go help her pack her keyboard,” Van said, standing up. “You wait here. She’ll want to meet you.”_

_Victor watched him go, then turned to face forward, nervously munching on french fries. This was all happening so fast—of course he wanted to go out with Van, of course he did! But now there was another person involved. . . Would Van’s girlfriend be mad at him for falling for the guy? Would she demand an explanation? His heart pounded as he waited, and his fingers drummed nervously on the table._

__I should just run _, he thought to himself._ I should just get out of here and pretend this never happened—no, but if I did that, how could I ever face Van again?! _He took a deep breath._ Why am I panicking? It’s all fine. This is fine. This is— __

_“Victor?” A reassuring hand landed on his shoulder, and the chemist jumped. He looked up, and saw Van standing over him. “You alright?”_

_“Fine!” he replied quickly. Looking over to Van’s left, he could see his girlfriend standing there. She was holding what had to be a rather heavy keyboard, and, to the chemist’s relief, she didn’t look angry at him._

_“You must be Victor,” she said, holding out her hand. “I’m Cardia. Pronouns she/they. It’s nice to meet you!”_

_“Nice to meet you,” Victor managed to say, shaking their hand. She was /super/ cute. He tried hard to hide his blushing, but it was pretty difficult._

_“My boyfriend’s told me a lot about you,” they continued, giving him a smile. “You seem to be quite the talented chemist—and your playing this evening was beautiful!”_

_“Um, t-thanks,” Victor stammered, flustered._

_“I’m afraid we have to get going,” Helsing said sadly. “But perhaps we can meet up tomorrow and chat more. Maybe at the Curious Café again?”_

_“That sounds great!” Victor said, giving them a smile._

_“Alright, we’ll see you tomorrow!” Cardia exclaimed. They looked absolutely delighted._

_“. . . I’ll see you then.”_

Victor reflected on this as he played, and his heart started to pound in nervous thuds. Was he ready to do this?

 _I’m going to be fine_ , Victor reassured himself, taking a deep breath as he held an E sharp. _They both seem like really nice people. It’ll be great. As long as they doesn’t find out that I—_

The thought jolted him like a shock wave, and his fingers jumped, hitting a flat note and almost causing the violin to tumble out of his hands. Victor’s chest was on fire, and he stumbled, putting down his instrument and gasping for air, breathing hard. No, not this again. Please, not again!

_White violin, brown desk, green case. . . Breathe Victor, breathe._

Thankfully, it was a short episode. Victor quickly regained his air again, and the pain in his chest faded, leaving everything normal—almost as if nothing had happened. He let out a sigh of relief, and took of his headphones, unplugging them from the violin. It was almost time to go, anyway.

He bundled up for the fall weather, putting on his fluffy green parka before heading out the door. It was a bit cold out, and he shivered, hugging himself.

As he walked, he reflected on his feelings. The chemist was still surprised that Van Helsing had a girlfriend—and very embarrassed. His cheeks flushed just at the thought, and he felt like burying his face in his hands.

But what Van had said, about looking for a third. . . If he was being honest with himself, the idea of polyamory had always appealed to him quite a bit, as a way of freely loving others. And the fact that he could possibly become their third was . . . exciting. 

_But I’m not good enough to be their third_ , he quickly thought, scolding himself for even thinking he could be. _I’m just . . . a mess. They’re so much better than I could ever be._

The chemist looked up, and realized he’d reached the Curious Café. Through the glass windows, he could see Van and Cardia, and just seeing them made his heart skip a beat. Cardia looked like she was dressed in her Sunday best, with a lacey blue dress that made them look perfectly carefree. Van, on the other hand, wore a classy motorcycle jacket and ripped jeans. The two looked like complete opposites—and they both looked extremely beautiful.

Victor found himself laughing. What had he done to deserve a date with such gorgeous people?! But here he was, and here they were, as if this was normal. And so, after a deep breath, he went inside.

Van and Cardia had been waiting at a table a few feet from the door, and when Victor entered, they both stood up. “You made it,” Van said, looking delighted (which was an unusual look for such a well-tempered man). “It’s good to see you.”

“Good to see you too,” Victor said, giving the two a nervous smile. His anxiety was nagging at him, and he tried hard to tune it out.

“Shall we order?” Cardia asked cheerfully.

And so the three got in line. When they were at the front, Victor ordered his usual iced pumpkin latte, Van ordered a black hazelnut coffee, and Cardia ordered a white hot chocolate. Victor took how his wallet to pay, but before he could, Van had already handed a twenty to the cashier. “Our treat. I insist,” the man said, giving Victor a small smile.

Once their orders were ready, Van asked, “You’re more familiar with this place. Do you recommend a spot?” Victor thought for a moment, then pointed to a back table, next to the bookshelf—he had always found it particularly cozy. And so the three sat there, enjoying their drinks.

Victor put his hand on his lap to hide his nervous fidgeting. “So Cardia,” he managed to ask, taking a calming breath, “are you a student at Victoria College too? I don’t know if I’ve seen you there, but it’s possible I’ve missed you. . .”

“Yes, I’m a Music Performance Major there,” she informed him with a smile. “I play piano. The building is on the opposite side of campuses form the sciences, so you probably haven’t seen me around.”

“I see,” he said, sipping his latte.

“And what about you?” Cardia said. “I assume you’re a chemistry major, then?”

“That’s right. I came here for Victoria’s great science program—I haven’t been disappointed so far.” He looked from Van to his girlfriend, then asked, “What brought you two to this college?”

“Van was attending here when I stopped performing, and he suggested I come here,” Cardia explained. “So I applied, and . . . here I am!”

“So . . . you performed professionally?” Victor asked.

Cardia nodded. “I’ve been playing piano since I was very young. My father was the owner Isaac’s Corner before he died, and it was my first stage. Now my brother Finis and I are in charge the place.” She took a drink of her hot chocolate. “That’s a big part of why I choose to follow Van here, and why he came here in the first place. I have to do my part for the family business, even if I don’t run it like Finis does.”

The chemist nodded. “That’s . . . a lot to take care of,” he said, “isn’t it?”

“Yes, but I have Finis for help.” She snuggled against Van. “And my boyfriend, of course.”

Victor nodded, hiding his face behind his coffee. Van noticed his nervousness, and gave him a reassuring smile. “So, when did you start to play the violin?” he asked.

Victor stopped drinking his latte and sucked in a breath. “It’s a . . . personal reason,” he finally managed to say. “But I started playing when I was 19, and things just grew from there.”

“And you became this skilled in that short of a time?” Cardia sounded surprised.

“W-Well, I’ve been singing all my life,” Victor said quickly, “so I’ve always had some grasp on music. I’m not _that_ good at the violin yet though; I’m still just learning, after all.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Van said. “You’re very talented.”

Victor laughed awkwardly. “You keep saying that,” he teased.

“Because it’s the truth.”

Now the chemist was blushing. _I’m really not, though. . ._ “S-So how did you two meet?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

“Van was one of the helpers for a performance I was doing,” Cardia explained. “He was a big name behind the scenes at the time, and it was great to meet him.” She smiled. “We got to talking, and we really hit it off.”

“Is that why that guy came up to you the other day?” Victor asked Van. “Because you’re a big name?”

Helsing nodded, and sighed grumpily. “I certainly didn’t expect to be recognized like that in public, especially in a town this small. At least it didn’t happen until senior year. I like to keep a . . . low profile.”

The chemist nodded. There was a pause as all parties savored their drinks. During that silence, Victor’s anxiety started nagging at him again, and he resisted the urge to groan. _Why did I think to come here?!_ he asked himself. _They both seem like such great people. . . I’m not good enough for them!_ He took a long, deep breath, and went to sip his coffee, but realized it was finished. _Fuck fuck_ fuck _!_

“Are you alright, Victor?” Cardia’s concerned voice brought him back to reality, and the chemist looked up at the couple.

“I’m . . . fine!” he managed to say. “Just fine.”

Van raised an eyebrow, then he reached out, and took Victor’s hand. The warm embrace startled the chemist, and he blushed. “Don’t worry,” Helsing said. “I can understand why you’re nervous. This isn’t an everyday situation, after all.”

Victor laughed. “No, I suppose it’s not.”

“I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel pressured,” Van continued. “I’ve been really eager to go out with you, and I wanted Cardia to meet you as well.”

“You’ve been eager to go out with _me_?” He was surprised.

Helsing nodded, squeezing his hand. “You’re an amazing person, Victor. Like I said, I truly admire you. I’d love to go out with you more.”

“And I don’t have to be involved,” Cardia added, giving him a reassuring smile. “You can just date Van—and of course you have my blessing. But if it’s ok with you, I do want to get to know you a bit better, Victor. You seem like an amazing person, someone I’d truly like to be acquainted with.”

Victor sat there for a moment, stunned, once again unable to speak. He took a moment to process these words, trying to quiet his screaming mind. His brain was telling him that he didn’t deserve this—that he didn’t deserve these compliments, this grace, these people. But he wanted badly to know them, to be _with_ them, even if he _didn’t_ deserve it. . . 

“Ok,” he finally said. When the word came out, it released a load of pressure from his chest, and he continued, “I’d . . . like to go out with Van more. And Cardia, it would be wonderful to get to know you.” He smiled. “Even as just a fellow musician.”

“Fantastic,” Van said, a smile sprouting from his face. “Thank you. I’m looking forward to getting to know you—and for you to know us.”

“I’m happy too.” She smiled. “I suppose we should get going now though. It’s getting quite late.”

Victor glanced at the clock, and was startled to realize that an hour had passed—the café was going to close very soon. It was getting dark outside, and the street lamps were turning on. “I suppose so,” he said.

They all stood up from the table, and Van took their empty cups, depositing them in the nearby trashcan. “Let’s walk back to campus together!” Cardia said cheerfully, skipping outside. 

Van smiled, and took Victor’s hand again. “Shall we?” he asked. Victor nodded, blushing like mad, and they stepped onto the sidewalk, walking quietly back to Victoria College.

They soon reached the archway that spelled out the university’s name, and they stopped walking. “Which dorm are you in, Victor?” Cardia asked.

“Um, Tower.” He let go of Van’s hand, and gestured in the general direction of his residence. “Well, I guess I should be going, th—”

It happened all at once. A car came by, driving fast, and squealed around the corner near the group, honking angrily. 

It was brief. But it was enough.

Suddenly Victor found himself gasping for breath, his chest flaring up as his heartbeat became louder, ringing in his ears. _Oh god_ , he thought, his hands feeling loose and weightless. _Not again._

“Victor?” Van Helsing’s voice seemed far away now, like his classmate was in a different plane of existence—Victor felt like he was floating away. He made his hand find the nearest sturdy object—the wall of the archway—gripping it tightly as if that alone would save him. _Grey stone, green grass. . . Darn darn darn!_ He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on the techniques his therapist taught him. But his mind was scattered, and trying to find the pieces was taking an enormous amount of effort.

“Victor, breathe.” Helsing’s voice came into his ear, a firm and calming presence that washed over his panic. “Deep breaths.”

He obeyed, focusing on his breathing and trying not to hyperventilate like he usually did. It managed to calm his mind a bit, and Victor looked around, trying to ground himself. _Green grass, blue dress, blue jeans. . . God, I ruined everything, idiot idiot idiot!_

“We’re here, Victor.” Cardia’s soothing voice came to him, returning Victor to earth. “Do you want me to hold your hand?”

Victor nodded, and a calming grip wrapped around his fingers, squeezing tightly and grounding him further. Two hands—one soft and gentle, the other firm and warm—landed gently on his back, calming him. He focused again on his breathing and closed his eyes, tears rapidly rolling down his cheeks. “Breathe,” Van’s voice ordered him, and Victor obeyed.

It felt like they were there for an hour, Victor floating away from his body and the two helping him pull it back. Until finally, the chemist returned to earth, and opened his eyes, back in reality. He realized that Cardia and Helsing were on either side of him, and had pulled him into a gentle embrace.

“How are you feeling?” Van asked.

“Are you alright?” added Cardia.

_Oh. . . Oh no. . ._

At that moment he realized just what he’d done, and as he forced himself out of their grip, the tears came again. “I-I messed everything up,” he sobbed, wiping his cheeks. “I’m sorry. You both must hate me now, don’t you?”

“Of course not.”

This was the first time he had heard Van truly angry—usually his classmate had such a calm, impenetrable demeanor. But when Victor turned to him, there was true fury in the other man’s eyes, and he put his hands on Victor’s shoulders. “You didn’t ruin anything,” he said, softly but firmly. “And that definitely wasn’t your fault.”

“Looks like you read my mind—my brain was just going there next,” Victor said, trying to laugh it off.

“Well, it’s bullshit,” Helsing said. “You did nothing wrong.”

Before he knew it, Van had wrapped him in a tight, comforting hug, and tears flowed from Victor’s cheeks unbidden. Defeated and tired, he rested his head on Helsing’s shoulder, and he felt Cardia embrace him from behind. For a moment the three stayed in that position, unmoving, and for a brief moment, Victor felt safe.

“Thank you,” he said to them, and the hug released, giving him space. The chemist wiped more tears, and then realized something. “How did you know both what to do?” he asked.

“When you work with performers, some of them get nervous,” Van said simply. “So I had to learn how to help them through these kind of things.”

“I used to have panic attacks before performing, thanks to my father’s strict training,” Cardia added. “I know how to help myself through it now—and other people.”

Victor nodded. “Thanks.”

They stood in silence for another minute, until Victor said, “I should probably go home.”

“We’ll walk you there,” both Van and Cardia said at the same time.

 _You still want to be with me?_ “I don’t want to bother you. . .”

“I insist,” Van said firmly. 

“We can’t just leave you alone after that,” Cardia added.

Victor turned away. Surely neither of them were interested in him at all anymore—they had to just see him as a sad story, a real messed-up case. “Thank you.”

They journeyed back toward the dorms, mostly walking in silence. Victor was too embarrassed to look at Helsing or Cardia in the face, and he spent his time staring at the ground, his brain burning with anxious thoughts.

And then, a warm touch lifted him out of it. He looked up, and saw Van was holding his hand, squeezing it tightly as they walked. A cooler touch found his other hand, and he turned to see Cardia holding it. When he met Helsing’s beautiful purple eyes, the man said, “You looked like you could use some reassurance,” as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Cardia simply gave him a smile.

 _See, you didn’t ruin everything_ , his brain assured him. _They’re fine with you._

_Yeah, until they realize just how terrible you are._

Tower Dorm wasn’t far, and they all stopped in front of the door, looking from the entrance sign to Victor. “Looks like this is it,” Van said.

“Yeah.” Victor swallowed. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. “I completely ruined our date, and—”

Van held up a hand to stop him. “You have nothing to apologize for, Victor,” he said gently. “These things can’t be helped.”

“We’re just glad you’re ok,” said Cardia, releasing his hand.

Van let go of Victor’s hand too, but instead of returning it to his side, he brought it up and tenderly cupped Victor’s cheek. The chemist blushed madly, looking into Helsing’s purple eyes.

“I guess we’ll have to go on another date sometime,” his classmate said with a small smile.

“I-I guess so,” Victor managed to squeak. “I’d like that.”

“Good.” 

At their side, it was clear Cardia couldn’t hold back a big smile.

Helsing lowered his hand, and before Victor knew it, Van was walking away. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

“Take care of yourself, ok?” Cardia said, running after her boyfriend.

Soon enough, the two were gone.

Victor stood there for a moment, watching them leave, bringing his hand to the cheek Van Helsing touched. Then he walked inside the dorm, and closed the door behind him.

When he got to his room, Victor realized he was exhausted. The panic attacks had taken a lot out of him, not to mention the lack of food was making it worse. With a defeated sigh, he pulled out his phone and ordered some food via mobile app.

Flopping down on the bed, his mind traveled around the events of the date. He felt like crying again, but he was too tired to do so. Van Helsing had said they should go out again, but did he really mean that? Maybe the guy was just being polite. Maybe he saw Victor for who he really was.

A _bzzz!_ from his phone interrupted his thoughts: Victor’s food was here. After retrieving it, he sat on the bed and ate, brain still churning. A few lyric ideas came to mind, and he grabbed his notebook from his backpack, scribbling them down.

 _What am I going to say to him tomorrow?_ he thought to himself with a sigh. _Maybe I just shouldn’t go to class._

 _No, he’ll want to see that I’m ok._ Victor smiled. _Because he’s kind like that._

_Unlike me._

He continued to eat his food, brain still spewing as he did so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Victor. :,C  
> I enjoyed writing Cardia's lore for this AU! :D It was fun. I hope you liked it too!  
> Also if Impey lived in our time, he would use ALL THE EMOJIS. X3  
> Note: Cardia's pronouns will be switching between she and they every other line, since those are the pronouns she uses.


	4. Invitation

“You are _such_ a flirt!” Cardia teased Van as they walked away from Tower Dorm. “Holding his cheek like that. . . What a tease.”

Van chuckled. “What can I say? I’m quite . . . enamored by him.”

“I see that.” She grabbed his arm and snuggled next to him. “But that’s one of the reasons I like you. You express your love in such beautiful ways.”

“Thank you,” Helsing teased his girlfriend, taking her hand. “I’m glad I’m at a least a _little_ bit likeable.”

She laughed, and Van grinned, loving to hear her beautiful voice. But as they walked, his mind went back to Victor, and he frowned. Was the chemist going to be alright? He had seemed quite shaken up by something—Helsing hoped that he and Cardia hadn’t caused his panic attack.

“I’m sure Victor’s going to be fine,” Cardia soothed him, clearly noticing his worry. “You’ll see him in class tomorrow too, won’t you? You’ll be able to check on him.”

“That’s right.” Helsing relaxed, and gave a relieved smile. “Thank you, dear.”

“Of course, darling. Now, shall we walk home? I’d like to give my pet a little treat when we arrive. . .”

At that, Van smiled, and he quickened his pace. “Yes. Let’s go.”

__________

Van got to class early and sat down, waiting to see Victor. A few minutes before the bell, the chemist arrived, looking quite normal—thank goodness.

Victor gave him a shy wave and sat in his usual seat, next to his friend Impey. Van smiled to himself and looked down at his notebook.

When class was over, he stood up from the desk and walked up to Victor and Impey, who were chatting as they exited the room.

“Excuse me,” he said, making the two turn around. For perhaps the first time, he got a good look at Impey: the man had long, wild red hair and a permanent grin plastered on his face, underneath which hid a seemingly-bottomless well of confidence. His clothes, like usual, were quite rumpled, and they looked only half thrown-on, even the orange jumpsuit that he usually wore with every outfit.

“Heya!” Impey said, grabbing Van’s hand and shaking it wildly. “Impey Barbicane, genius engineer. Victor’s told me all about you!”

“Impey!” Victor blushed, clearly embarrassed. “Come on, I didn’t say _that_ much!”

Impey gave his friend a knowing smile, then let go of the handshake. “I’m sure you want to talk to Victor,” he said, grinning, “so I’ll leave you both to it.”

“Impey, wait—”

But the man was already running off. “Have fun, lovebirds!” he called behind him. Then he was gone.

Van watched him disappear, and then turned to Victor, who shuffled around awkwardly. “Hey,” the chemist said, forcing a smile. “What’s up?”

He shrugged. “I just wanted to see how you’re doing after yesterday,” he explained, beginning to walk. Victor followed him, and he added, “Are you feeling better?”

“A bit,” his classmate replied with a sigh.

“Do you get those panic attacks a lot? It didn’t seem like it was your first.”

“It wasn’t.” Victor shrugged. “I used to have them more frequently, but now I have them usually every few days instead of every day. If I’m lucky, there’s at least a week or two between each attack.”

Van stopped, pausing in the middle of the hallway. “What’s wrong?” the chemist asked, looking confused.

“That’s a terrible state to be in,” Helsing said, “having panic attacks that frequently.” He turned to Victor. “How do you handle that?”

“I just do what I can,” his classmate replied, continuing walking. Van quickly followed him, and he saw Victor’s eyes were clouded—this was clearly a subject that upset him. “That’s all I can really do for right now. I’ve tried other things, but . . . that’s all.”

“Fair enough.”

The chemist turned to him, looking surprised. “Thought you were going to argue with me on that one,” he said, laughing. “Most people do.”

“It’s your mental health,” Van said, shrugging. “You know it far better than I.”

“Thanks.” Victor looked relieved. That’s good of someone to say.”

They reached the door and walked outside. It was beginning to rain, and water was coming down softly from the sky, pitter-pattering on the roofs of cars. Van put up the hood of his motorcycle jacket, and Victor did the same with his parka.

“Well,” the chemist said, clearing his throat, “I guess I have another class, so—oh no!”

Victor was looking over at something, a surprised and worried expression on his face. Helsing followed his gaze, and found himself staring at a small brown corgi, hiding in the shadows and huddling underneath the trees. Its fur was already soaking wet, and it was clearly shivering.

Before Van could do anything, Victor was running over to the animal, ripping off his coat and placing it on the ground. He held his hand out to the dog, and said, “Hey little guy. You alright?” To Helsing’s relief, the brown ball of fluff sniffed Victor’s fingers, and rubbed its head against them. Perhaps it was easily pleased—either that, or his classmate had a natural affinity for animals.

“Poor thing.” Victor cooed. He placed the animal onto his jacket, then picked it up, wrapping the coat around the corgi. “There’s a shelter not too far from here,” the chemist said, turning to Van Helsing. “Are you parked nearby? We can drive there.”

“I walked here,” Helsing replied. “My vehicle is back at the dorm.”

“Darn,” Victor said. “Let’s take my car then.”

A short walk later, they reached said car, a tiny round vehicle that seated four. Victor unlocked it and reached for the driver’s door, then stopped. Walking to Van, he said, “Here, you hold the dog while I drive,” and before the man could protest, the fuzzball was in his arms.

He awkwardly smiled down at the corgi—animals had never liked him—and got in the car, sitting in the passenger side. The dog let out confused barks, as if asking to go back to Victor, and Helsing tried to comfort it, gently running his fingers on the animal’s wet head.

That’s when he realized they weren’t moving yet.

He looked up, and saw Victor looking ahead, frozen. His classmate seemed to be staring at something in the distance, processing an object far away from Van’s view. Then, Victor took a long, deep breath, and before Van could say anything, he started the car, and they were off.

Victor was right: the animal shelter really wasn’t far, and they pulled into the parking lot only a few minutes later. “You can wait here,” Victor said, taking the dog from Helsing’s arms. Then he walked inside Victoria Animal Rescue, and disappeared from view.

Van looked around, trying to catch hints of Victor’s character in the car. It had both a CD and a tape player, and various classical music recordings were scattered about the vehicle. There were also a few books and study materials, mostly for chemistry. The biggest thing about the vehicle—and this was hardly a surprise, knowing its owner—was that it was impeccably neat, almost uncannily so. The only deviations from this were a few scribbled notes stuffed in the cupholder.

Victor returned, and Helsing looked up, watching him get in the driver’s side. “They’ll take care of him,” the chemist said, sounding relieved. “I’m glad we were able to spot the little guy.”

“You did a good job,” Van said. “Not everyone would take the time to rescue a dog like that.”

“It’s nothing, really,” Victor said quickly, starting the car. “Come on, I just did what anyone else would’ve.”

“You’re a kind person,” Helsing told him, watching as they backed out of the parking lot and returned to the road. _And if I’m being honest_ , he thought to himself, _that’s making me fall for you, just a little bit more. . ._

“Where do you need to go, Van?” his classmate asked, interrupting his thoughts. “Want me to drop you off somewhere?”

He paused for a moment. Dare he. . .? After a moment, he decided to go for it.

“Actually,” Helsing said, speaking slowly. “I was wondering if you wanted to head back to my place.”

Victor’s face turned completely red, and the chemist pulled the car into a nearby gas station, parking in the lot. “A-Are you asking what I think you’re asking?”

“I am,” Van replied, giving him a reassuring smile. “Is that something you’re . . . interested in? If not, we can just head back to the college, and—”

“No!” the chemist interrupted, almost fiercely. He took a deep breath. “I . . . I-I would like that. To go back to your place. Is that ok?”

“Absolutely. I’m the one who offered, after all,” said Helsing. He reached out and squeezed Victor’s hand. “It’s not far from here. I’ll give you directions.”

“O-Ok.”

Victor pulled out of the gas station, and Van let him drive down the road. When the turn came, he said, “Turn right, then turn left into the apartment complex. . . Yeah, that one there.” The chemist obeyed. “Good. Park right here; our home is right across from that spot.”

Victor put his car in park and turned it off. Van was about to get out—but then he saw his companion was frozen. “Everything alright?” he asked.

“Um, yeah,” the chemist said, blushing. “This is just my . . . first time doing something like this.” He let out an awkward laugh. “Even though I know I’m bi I’ve never had sex, and . . . I don’t want to mess things up. Is that weird?”

Helsing smiled. “This experience is about you and me having fun together. There’s nothing to mess up, Victor.” He took the man’s hand. “I promise.”

The man let out a sigh of relief. “O-Ok.” He took a deep breath, and got out of the car.

Van got out too. Though he was doing his best to keep his composure steady, his heart was pounding, out of nervousness and anticipation. He couldn’t wait to have some fun with Victor, give the guy an experience he’d never forget.

Most of all, he wanted to express his feelings to the chemist in a tangible way, something more than words. He had so many thoughts about Victor, and finally he could let the man know exactly how he felt through his actions.

And he was so excited to do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sisi! :3  
> I want this to be more than just a copy-paste of the original--I want it to be more of a remix. So this one will have sexual content that I decided not to include in the first one. See you back for the next chapter for the SEEEEX.


	5. Come, Pet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: This chapter has a handjob, domination, submission, pet play, collaring, aftercare, and thoughts of depression & self-harm.

Victor’s heart was thudding in his chest. Holy shit. Van Helsing asked to have sex with him—Van Helsing _wanted_ to have sex with him. Van Fucking Helsing. Holy shit.

As he followed the man into his apartment, his brain was flip-flopping between excitement, fear, and self-loathing. _You don’t deserve this_ , his mind hissed to him, watching as Van paused to unlock the door. _Just tell him this was a big mistake, that you don’t want this._

 _But I do want this!_ he insisted. _I want this so much. . . I want to be close to him, to hold him! I want to. . ._

_So what? It’s not like you deserve any of that._

_Who cares?!_

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening, and he looked up to see Van smiling at him. “Shall we?” the man asked. Before he could think about it any further, Victor quickly nodded, and walked inside after him. The door was closed and locked behind them.

The chemist’s heart was still pounding, and to calm himself down, he looked around the apartment. It was actually pretty big, with a kitchen and living room area in front, a few spare doors that led to closets and bathrooms, and a large bedroom at the very end of it all.

“S-So,” he said, turning to Van, “Um, are we—”

His words were interrupted when a hand gently came around to the back of his neck, and before Victor could blink, Helsing dove in for a kiss. The man’s lips were warm and comforting, leading him through the encounter, taking him in and wanting more. Victor wanted more too, but at the same time, this was all was overpowering—it was too much. Van noticed his hesitation and released, giving the chemist a satisfied smile.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks,” the man said. His grin was small, but it spoke volumes. “Was that alright?”

Victor blushed madly, nodding. Weeks? Had Van had a crush on him too, this whole time?! He found it hard to believe he was _that_ worth liking—but at the same time, it was humbling, and rather nice.

“I’m a bit of a dominant type, so I hope you don’t mind me taking the lead like that,” Helsing continued.

“That’s fine!” Victor said quickly. “I’ve always been more of a submissive myself. . .”

At that, Van’s face brightened. “Oh you are, are you?” Before Victor could nod, he was playfully shoved against the wall behind him—not a hard shove, and though Helsing kept his hands on his shoulders, his grip was loose, a way of letting the chemist know that he could be stopped at any time. “A submissive little plaything. . . How interesting.” He smiled and brought his finger to Victor’s neck, tracing it around the skin. “I’ll bet a pet like you would prefer a collar. . . What do you think of that?”

Now Victor was blushing even more—he was so embarrassed he could barely get the words out. “Y-Yes,” he managed to say. “I would love that.”

“And perhaps my pet would like to call me by a different name,” Van continued. “You shall call me ‘master’ from now on. Am I understood?”

 _Fuck_ , Van was hitting all of his sweet spots. It was enough to feel woozy from lovesickness. “Yes . . . master,” Victor said with a longing sigh.

“Good.” Helsing smiled in satisfaction, and released his pet from the wall, putting an arm around Victor and leading him to the bedroom. “Now, let’s find you a suitable collar, shall we?”

The chemist’s heart was once again pounding as they approached the room, his brain telling him more than ever that this wasn’t something he deserved. But now, it didn’t even matter. Because he wanted this, perhaps more than he’d ever wanted anything. And he was eager to see what would come next of his encounter with Van.

The bedroom was even bigger than he expected, with a large, fluffy bed along one wall, and a large amount of floor area in front of it. There were closets built into each wall, and when Van opened one, Victor was dazzled by what he saw.

The closet was full of toys for play: riding crops, ball gags, blindfolds, candles. And in the middle of it all was an assortment of collars, all of various sizes and colors. Helsing sifted through them for a moment, and finally pulled out a small green one, with a heart chain in the middle of it.

“I think this will suit you, pet,” his master said, unclasping the collar. “Hold still, alright?”

Victor nodded, and watched as Van reached out, and gently placed the color around his neck. The feeling of leather tracing against his neck was an incredible, visceral feeling, one that sunk him into a more submissive state of mind. The last clasp, and the metal rubbing against his skin, was the final touch, and the chemist sighed in absolute bliss. He had always wanted to feel like this—and for it to be with Van?! That was incredible.

“Now, let’s talk shop,” Van said, guiding Victor to the bed. “What do you want from me tonight, pet? How can I please you?”

Victor sucked in a breath, his face beet red. He hadn’t expected to just be asked that outright! Finally, he tried to speak. “I-If you could . . . fuck, why is this so hard?” He laughed. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry,” Helsing assured him, putting a hand on his shoulder—and letting his finger drift to stroking the collar. “I can wait.”

“Thanks.” Victor took a breath, and said, “I-I’d love a handjob from you . . . while being called your pet. Can we do that?”

“Of course, my _pet_ ,” Van replied. He let his hand drift down Victor’s arm, down his chest, and gently land between his legs, tracing the man’s dick with one finger. “Hard already?” he teased, making the chemist blush. “This is going to be good. And if you need to stop or slow down, the safe words are red, yellow, green.

“Now, strip,” he ordered, standing in front of Victor. “I want to see all of my pet before I play with him.”

Victor nodded—and immediately was filled with nervousness again. He’d never seen his body as particularly impressive, and his bad eating habits had made him thinner—what if Van didn’t like what he saw?

“Come on, pet,” Van said, smiling down at him. “I want to see that beautiful body before I please it. Show it to me.”

Not wanting to disappoint him—and energized at being called beautiful—Victor obeyed, taking off his Chopin sweater, blushing as he exposed his chest. He was quite a bit thinner than the average person—more of a beanpole really, not at all muscular like Van Helsing. But to his relief and infinite happiness, his master looked very pleased by what he saw, and gave a satisfied nod, his tongue escaping his mouth and skimming his lips.

“Good boy,” Helsing praised him. “Now, for the bottom half. Or shall I help you?”

Victor blushed. “Actually, I’d like that. . .”

“Very well, pet.” Van bent down in front of him with a smile, reaching for the button on the chemist’s jeans. “Ready?”

Victor nodded eagerly, and watched as Helsing unbuttoned his pants and gently began pulling it down, along with his underwear. He was left blushing once again as his tiny, hard cock was fully exposed, left in the air as Van finished stripping him. Once that was done, his master focused back on his dick, and Victor started to panic. He had always been sensitive about its size, and now every anxious thought he’d ever had about it was overloading his mind.

That is, until a surprising murmur left Helsing’s mouth: “Beautiful . . . just beautiful.” Surprised, he met his master’s eyes, and found a satisfied smile on the man’s face. “You have a delightful cock, pet,” he said, his grin becoming wider. “I can’t wait to get my hands on it.”

“T-Thank you,” Victor said, relieved. “Thank you, master.”

“But first, let me reveal myself,” Van said, straightening up. “You’ve exposed yourself to your master, so your master will expose himself to you.”

Victor nodded, watching as Van slowly unbuttoned his collared shirt. A moment later, he it off, and revealed something surprising.

The man had scars on his chest, clearly from top surgery. When Helsing took off his pants, he revealed his vulva to the chemist, and then met Victor’s eyes, his gaze unwavering. “I hope you still find your master . . . to your liking,” the man said finally.

“Of course!” Victor blurted out. “It doesn’t matter if you’re trans! I mean, it _matters_ but not like that—look, I love you for you! Is what I’m trying to say.” _Fuck, why do I have to be so awkward?!_

Van smiled, clearly relieved. “That’s good to hear, pet. Thank you.

“Now, I promised you a handjob, and a handjob you shall get.” He sat down on the bed next to Victor, but not before placing a towel on the floor. “Are you ready, pet?”

Victor nodded apprehensively, and Helsing grinned deviously. “Very well.”

He reached out, and began stroking Victor’s shaft—gently at first, then with more ferocity, enough to give some oomph, but not enough to cause pain. The chemist moaned at the pleasurable sensation, putting his arms behind him and leaning back. “That’s good,” Van purred, stroking the tip of the man’s cock. “I like to hear my pet’s cries. . . Keep going.”

His stroking increased, and then his entire hand was around Victor’s hard member, rubbing up and down, even teasing his balls at some opportunities. It was everything the chemist had ever wanted in a handjob, and a cry of pleasure left his mouth. Normally he would be embarrassed by his outcry, perhaps wonder if a neighbor could hear it, but he was so deep in that those thoughts didn’t occur to him. It was just a pet and his master, and nothing else mattered.

“Good boy,” Helsing said. “Such a good boy you are. . . I love to see you shout like this. I wonder how loud you can get?” His grip tightened around Victor’s penis, just a bit, and his strokes varied up. The master’s other hand reached down and tenderly pressed against the chemist’s balls, stimulating further, and Victor let out his loudest scream yet. He couldn’t take it for much longer. He was going to . . . to. . .!

Van’s hand rubbed the tip of his dick, and that’s when he couldn’t take it anymore. Victor came then and there, semen spraying from his member and landing on the towel. His master watched the cum land in satisfaction, and licked the few drops that had hit his fingers. “A delightful taste, pet,” he said to Victor, who was currently catching his breath. “I am most pleased.”

“Thank you, master,” Victor said, a genuine smile on his face. He couldn’t remember a time where he had been this happy—at least, it had been quite a while.

Van smiled, and got behind him, placing his hands on the chemist’s shoulders. “Now for a back massage,” he said, his hands skimming against the collar, making Victor shiver in delight. “Let you unwind a bit after such an encounter.”

He nodded, and relaxing hands pressed against his skin, soothing him and making Victor sigh in contentment. He felt good, sitting here like this. He felt better than he had in a long time. He felt . . .

. . . embarrassed.

The return to reality hit him almost immediately, and a dark blush spread across Victor’s face. He looked down at his unconcealed dick, then to where his semen had splashed. Had he really asked Van Helsing to give him a handjob? Why wasn’t he more ashamed of this? He didn’t deserve any of this! He should go hide himself away, get out of here and hole up in his dorm, just _go_ and—

“Shhh.” Van’s voice warped him out of his nagging mind, and two strong arms wrapped around him in a hug. “You’re shaking, pet,” his master said. “Experiencing sub drop already?”

“I guess so,” Victor admitted. He felt like crying—no, he felt like hiding somewhere and never coming back—no, he felt like . . . he felt like he was sinking into the depths of despair. “Why am I like this?” he whispered to himself, wiping away the few tears that were falling.

“It’s not your fault,” Helsing said soothingly. “Do you want a cup of tea?”

Victor nodded, and Van gently pressed against his shoulders, having him lie down on the bed. “You just wait here. I’ll be back in just a moment.” And then, the man was gone.

With his absence, the thoughts returned more violently than ever, turning toward self-harm as a punishment for his actions. Victor cringed and made his way to the top of the bed, hugging one of the pillows tightly. All the more reason why Helsing didn’t deserve him—he’d had such an amazing experience and he was reacting like _this_? God, he was selfish.

Van returned with the tea, and Victor slowly sat up and took the mug from him, feeling dazed. “How are you feeling?” the man asked gently, bringing his arm around the chemist.

“Tired,” Victor admitted. “My brain won’t leave me alone—it’s exhausting.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t deserve this.”

“You don’t deserve what?”

“ _This_!” the chemist yelled, waving his hands around and trying to capture all of _it_ : the friendship, the date, being here, having sex! He deserved none of it. And he didn’t know why Van thought he did.

“You deserve to be happy, don’t you?” Helsing asked.

That caught Victor by surprise. “I . . . I guess. . .”

“Then you deserve this,” Van assured him, giving the chemist a gentle kiss on the cheek. “I promise, you deserve this, Victor. Sub drop is hard, I know. But there’s nothing wrong with you for wanting this. And I’m happy you were able to have some fun.”

Victor sipped his tea. It was so hard to believe that sometimes. But he had just had an _amazing_ time. And even if his brain was badgering him, he wanted to enjoy this. “Thank you, Van,” he said. “Thank you.”

He finished the tea and handed it back. “D-Do you mind if I rest here?” he asked, blushing. “I’m just so tired all of a sudden. . .”

“Go ahead,” Van said, lying down next to him. “I’ll stay with you until you go to sleep.”

Victor found that very reassuring, and he smiled, lying down in the bed, still naked. He looked over at Helsing one more time, meeting the man’s pleasant purple eyes, then closed his own eyes, drifting.

His brain was still guilt-tripping him. But he tried to hold onto one thought: “You deserve to be happy.”

And soon, he was fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3c  
> Hope you liked! Poor Victor--sub drop can be really hard on people with depression. :C But he deserves to be happy. <3


	6. A Brief Intermission Before Things Get Kinky Again

Van stared at Victor as he slept, a smile crossing his face. Yep, he was in love with the chemist. He hoped sub drop hadn’t been too hard on the guy.

He got up and put his clothes back on, then sat back on the bed. He found himself transfixed by Victor, and he sat there for a while, watching him breathe.

“Looks like you had a fun day.”

Van looked up to see Cardia standing in the bedroom doorway, a smirk on her face. “We certainly did,” he said, standing with a smile. “How was work, babe?”

“It was great, actually!” she said, sitting down next to him. “Things went well today—no thanks to a certain someone. I also had a meeting with Finis afterward, and that went smoothly.”

“That’s right, I forgot that was today,” Helsing said. “He wasn’t too hard on you?”

“He’s been giving me more of a break,” Cardia replied, looking relieved. “He understands I can’t be there all the time now, thankfully, and doesn’t see my absence as ‘betraying father’ anymore.”

“Well, that’s good,” Van said, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek.

Cardia smiled, and then turned to Victor. “So, tell me what happened!” she exclaimed, turning toward him with a face of excitement. “I know you’ve been wanting this for a while—so Victor finally said yes?”

“He did. And. . .”

He described their encounter, ending with Victor’s harsh dive into sub drop, and watched as Cardia frowned. “Poor guy,” she said sadly. “I hope he’ll be alright.”

“I’m sure he will be,” Van assured her. “He’s a strong man.”

“I know.” Cardia paused for a moment, then said, “So he knows your trans, then?”

“Yes.” Helsing nodded. “He was accepting, thankfully.”

“That’s good. I’m glad.” She smiled mysteriously. “Now, I was hoping to get frisky with you, but I don’t want to wake him up.” An idea crossed her mind, and she smirked. “I’ll just have to settle for him when _he_ wakes up.”

“If he’s still here,” Van teased, “and willing, then by all means, go ahead.”

“Thanks.” She gave him a peck on the cheek. “I’m so glad I met a man who’s willing to share.”

Helsing laughed, and reached over, gently stroking his girlfriend’s hair. “And I’m so glad I met such a delightful woman. Now, shall we eat dinner?”

“Gladly.”


	7. An Unexpected Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contains collars, pet play, feeding kink, praise kink, and petting.

Cardia was making frying eggs when Victor stumbled out of the room. At first, the sound of the door startled them—Van wasn’t supposed to be up for another hour!—but then they turned and met eyes with a familiar face.

“Victor!” she greeted him happily, gesturing for him to sit at their humble table (it only seated four, two on each side). “How are you this morning?”

“F-Fine,” the chemist stuttered, practically collapsing at the table. He propped his head up with one hand, clearly in a state of inner turmoil. Perhaps he was still experiencing sub drop, Cardia reasoned. Poor thing.

“Let me get you some water,” they suggested, grabbing a bottle from the refrigerator. “I’m making breakfast for all of us too, if you’d like that.”

“That would be great,” Victor said. She walked over and offered the water; he took it and gulped it down eagerly. As the chemist craned his neck, they noticed he still had a collar on—the green one that she put on Van sometimes. It looked _adorable_ on Victor, she had to say.

The man noticed her staring, and looked down at the collar with a startle. “A-Am I still wearing it?!” he asked, blush spreading across his face. “I’m so sorry—I didn’t mean to—I’ll take it off now, and—”

“No,” Cardia said, the firmness in her voice surprising even her. Victor turned to them with a confused, scared look, and they gave him a reassuring smile. “It looks good on you . . . _pet_.”

The effect on the chemist was immediate: his body clearly shivered, and a look of pure delight flickered on his face. Cardia smiled—she loved having this kind of power over people, the kind that made both parties happy in the end. “Perhaps I can feed my pet,” she continued, walking back to the fried eggs—they were just about done. “What would you think of that?”

“I’d like that,” Victor said quietly.

“Don’t forget who you’re addressing~!” Cardia said sweetly.

“I’d like that _master_! Master. I-I’d like that a lot.”

The nonbinary femme smiled and placed the fried eggs onto a large plate, adorned them with spices, and took two to feed her pet, grabbing a fork along the way. They brought the meal to the table and set it down, sitting next to Victor. He was waiting in nervous anticipation.

“Say ahhh, pet,” Cardia said with a smile, giving him a bite of egg. Victor obeyed, opening his mouth in the cutest way. She giggled as she put the portion in his mouth, and watched him chew and swallow it down with a grin. Oh, this was going to be excellent.

“Good boy!” they praised him. Then she reached over, and gently pet Victor’s head, running her hands behind his ears and then traveling to the back. Once again, the affect on him was clearly seen: his shoulders, which had been slightly raised, sunk down in relaxation, and a sigh of contentment left the chemist’s mouth. “Such a good boy,” Cardia cooed.

“T-Thank you master,” Victor replied, smiling.

They smiled and let her hand retreat, resuming the feeding. “Have another bite,” she ordered, holding it out. He took it, and they pet him again, watching him sigh. “Good boy! Again.”

The two slowly made their way through the eggs, bite by bite, her feeding Victor and him receiving every bit. The more they fed him, and the more pets she gave him, the more the chemist relaxed, his shoulders sinking and his nervousness fading away. By the time she reached the last bite, he looked to be in absolute bliss.

Cardia was quite sat when she removed the fork from Victor’s mouth, and watched him swallow the last of the eggs. “All done, pet,” they said, petting his hair with a big smile. “Good job. Your master is pleased.”

At that, Victor beamed. “Thank you, master.”

“I’ll say. His other master is quite pleased as well.”

Both of them looked up—there was Van, leaning against the bedroom doorway with a smile. “V-Van!” Victor said, clearly startled. Cardia just grinned. She had noticed him about halfway through, but the surprise was much so much better.

Van smiled and walked up to them. He was only wearing his nightgown: a pair of pajama shorts that nicely showed off his buff chest. “You just had to get to him too, didn’t you?” he teased Cardia.

“What can I say?” they said, winking at Victor, who blushed. “He’s a real catch. I couldn’t just let you have him all to yourself.”

Van laughed. “I can’t argue with that.” At that, the chemist turned even redder.

Cardia smirked, then turned back to Victor, stroking his hair. “How are you feeling?” she asked him. “Any hard sub drop again?”

“A-A little,” the chemist admitted.

“Well, tell me what your brain’s saying,” they suggested. “Then we can break it down together. I’ve found that can help me when I’m having negative thoughts.” As she spoke, Helsing sat down at the table across from them.

“O-Ok. . .” Victor bit his lip. It was clear this was his first time doing this—Cardia could tell. She had reacted in mostly the same way when her therapist had asked her to do the same thing with Van. “My. . . My brain is telling me. . .” Victor sighed. “My brain is telling me to feel guilty.”

“Why is it saying that?” Van asked gently, reaching out and taking Victor’s hand.

“B-Because you’re both such good people!” the chemist exclaimed. He was crying now, and words spilled out of his mouth: “Because I don’t deserve this, because I don’t want to tear you two apart, because I’m . . . I’m not good enough to have these experiences!”

“Well, first of all,” Cardia said, taking Victor’s other hand, “we’re both poly, so you wouldn’t be tearing us apart.” They gave him a silly face, which made him giggle—success! “Your brain’s just flat out _wrong_ on that one.”

“And it’s like I said last night,” Van added. “You deserve to be happy. So you deserve these experiences—not that there’s anything to deserve in the first place. We did these things with you because we wanted to, and nobody forced us.”

Victor sighed. “I know. Logically I know that. But emotionally. . .”

“Yeah, it’s harder there, isn’t it?” Cardia said sadly. “I can sympathize with that.” She gave him a smile. “It takes time to reprogram your brain, especially when it’s gone wrong. But it can be done. Sometimes you need some help with it, but it can be done.”

The chemist laughed, and they were relieved to see a smile on his face. “I know . . . you’re right.” He looked from her to Van. “Thank you both. You’ve both been . . . so wonderful to me.”

“I’m glad.” Cardia stood from the table. “Now, I’m going to get breakfast. Who wants some eggs?”

“Oh, I’d love some eggs,” Van said.

“I’d like some more too,” Victor said, his hands nervously fidgeting. “A-And maybe if you could feed me again?”

“I don’t see why not.” Cardia turned to her boyfriend. “What do you say, partner? Shall we take turns feeding our pet?”

“That sounds fantastic.” Van smiled at her, then at Victor. “I’d love to take part.”

Cardia grinned. “Excellent.

“I’ll get the eggs.”


	8. From One Musician To Another

Victor returned to his dorms still in a euphoric high. His time with Cardia and Van felt like a pleasant dream, but no—it had really happened! And spending time at breakfast, with both of them taking turns feeding him. . . That was truly wonderful. 

And they had let him keep the collar! As he was leaving, he’d reached back to take it off, but Cardia stopped him. “Why don’t you keep it?” she asked, exchanging a glance with Van, who nodded. “It suits you.”

“A-Are you sure?” he blurted out. “I don’t want to take something precious to you both. . .!”

“We’re sure,” Van said. As he spoke, he gently reached out and unclasped the collar from Victor’s neck. “We have plenty of them—this one should be yours.” He offered the collar to the chemist, who took it in excited disbelief. “Perhaps we can play again sometime,” Van continued, causing Victor to look up. “All three of us.”

A hot blush spread on his face, and he managed to squeak, “Yes! I-I’d like that.”

“Fantastic.” Cardia smiled, then said, “I’ll see you in the music room later, then!”

That’s right—they had agreed to meet up later and trade music tips in one of the private rooms. She wanted to see him play again, and insisted on hearing one of his song renditions. “You stuff was so good at Isaac’s Corner; I want to hear more of your music!” He blushed at the thought. Sure, his friends wanted to hear his music too, but this felt different. This was someone he’d just spent an intimate experience with. And he couldn’t wait to share his talent with her, even if he felt nervous.

Classes that day went by slowly and quickly at the same time. Sometimes the time dragged on, trickling by oh-too-steadily as he waited for the bell, and other times, it would warp forward unexpectedly, leaving him flabbergasted when it was suddenly time to leave. And before he knew it, he was walking to the music building, violin in hand, heart absolutely pounding with anxiety and excitement.

 _It’s not like your actually talented_ , his brain scoffed. _You’re a mediocre artist at best—and that’s being generous._

 _I am talented_ , he insisted to himself. _People liked me at Isaac’s Corner, didn’t they?_

_It’s rude not to clap after a performance, isn’t it?_

_. . . I suppose you’re right._

He swallowed and took a deep breath. No. He was talented; he was good at what he did. Cardia wanted to hear his music because she _wanted_ to. And they were going to have a good time—together.

Right?

At that moment, Victor reached the front of the music building, and saw that Cardia was sitting on a bench next to the door. “I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” he said, rushing up to her.

“Not at all!” she said cheerfully. They gave him a smile and stood up, holding the door. “Let’s go. I’m excited to hear your music!”

Victor went in, Cardia behind him, and he walked up the stairs, navigating to the hallway of private rooms he often practiced in. When they got there, he picked one of the bigger rooms (which was thankfully unoccupied), suited for two performers, with a piano on the right side for Cardia to play.

“Good choice, Victor,” she said as they went in. After switching the door’s sign to “Occupied” and shutting it, they were officially closed off from the world. He started to set up his violin, pulling up one of the music stands and stools in the corner of the room, and they sat at the piano, playing some warm-up chords.

Those chords soon turned to full-fledged songs, and Victor found himself frozen by the beautiful music, letting it wash over him like a wave of beauty. It was fantastic playing, clearly from someone who had known the instrument for a long time, and was a near expert.

When Cardia stopped, the chemist couldn’t help but clap. “That was fantastic!” he exclaimed. 

She laughed. “Why, thank you.” 

“Where did you learn to play like that?”

“My father, Isaac, taught me,” she explained. “He was a well-known pianist in his day. You may have heard of him—he wrote a few famous pieces.”

“Oh?” Victor started putting rosin on his bow. “What was his name? Er . . . his full name, I mean.”

“Isaac Beckford.”

The chemist almost dropped everything upon hearing that. “Isaac Beckford? The modernist pianist? The one who wrote _Science Of The Keys_?!”

“The very same.” Cardia gave him a wry smile. 

“That’s amazing!” Victor blushed. “I had no idea.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not something I’m fond of talking about.” She sighed. “He was quite a well-known figure in the music world in his day, but he was no saint. He was . . . very hard on me and my brother growing up. Let’s just leave it there for now.”

“I’m so sorry,” the chemist said, genuinely sympathetic. He had heard that Isaac Beckford wasn’t the best of people—but to be like that to his own children? That was another level.

“Well, it’s history anyway, ancient history,” Cardia said, giving a carefree laugh. “Anyway, I don’t want to talk about my father! I want to hear your music, dang it! What do you have?”

Victor blushed. “W-Well, it’s not much yet,” he said quickly, raising his violin to playing position, “but it’s a little song I’m working on.”

“Let’s hear it!”

“O-Ok, let me play something to warm up first,” he said quickly. He took a deep breath, and began to play, singing, “~When it's tough, when you get stuck, you're at the wall of the writer's block. . .~”

He made his way through For Elise with near perfect precision—he’d played it many times now, after all, and it was a song he greatly enjoyed. When he finished, he was surprised to hear clapping from Cardia—had he really done anything that impressive?

“That was awesome!” they exclaimed, their eyes shining. “I knew you could play, but gosh, you can _play_ Victor. And your singing voice is beautiful!”

He blushed. “Thanks. It was just a regular performance, nothing special. . .”

“That was _definitely_ something special,” Cardia said. She smiled, and teased, “Van’s right, you’re really talented—you really gotta listen to him.”

The chemist laughed, and said back, “Yeah, in more ways than one. . .”

Cardia chuckled. “Oh, that eager to be ordered around, huh? I’ll have to let him know.” She propped her arms on the piano bench. “But now, let’s hear one of your originals. Please?”

“Ok, ok.” Victor smiled. “I-I’ll play it for you. Just a short one though, ok?”

“Sounds fair.”

He lifted up his violin, and took a deep breath. Then he began to play. It was one of his newer tunes, a work in progress, one he really hadn’t shown anybody yet—a song he hadn’t planned on showing anyone, really. But here he was, playing for Cardia:

_Ooooh, lion, what are you doing here?  
And whyyyyy do I think of you so dear-  
-ly? Ooooh lion, you’re gonna make me cry  
if you pry  
and prey on me  
oh pray for me.  
Ooooh, lion._

He stopped playing and turned to Cardia, his heart thudding as he waited for her evaluation. “It’s just a first verse,” he said quickly, putting his violin and bow back in its case. “S-So it’s not that good yet—I wrote it on a whim—it’s nothing much, really.”

Cardia stood up from the bench, and for a fearful moment, he thought she was going to walk out of the room. But instead they walked up to him, and put two hands on his shoulders. “Victor, that was wonderful,” she said, a sincere smile on her face. “I’m excited to see what the rest is going to be.”

He blushed. Was this really happening? “Thank you. That means a lot, coming from a fellow musician. . .”

They looked down, into each other’s eyes. Something drew them both in, and suddenly Cardia was kissing him, and he was kissing them back. Her lips were soft, and like Van, she was forceful, leading him through the kiss, guiding him with her. This time, he didn’t pull back; he let himself be led by her, and when they parted, catching their breath, the two looked into each other’s eyes, and smiled.

“You’re a pretty good kisser, Frankenstein,” Cardia said, wrapping her hands around his neck. “Where’d you learn tricks like that?”

Victor laughed. “Come on, I’m not that good. . .”

They giggled, and released him, but not before tracing their finger around his neck—right where his collar would be, making him shiver. “Perhaps we should get you a day collar,” she suggested with a smirk. “Something you can wear while you’re out.”

He blushed. _Holy shit._ “I . . . I would love that.”

“Great! We’ll go searching then.” She smiled, and then seemed to remember something. “Oh yes! There was another reason I asked you here.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, Van and I were thinking of going to a concert tonight,” she began. “A thing called For The Immortals. Ever heard of it?”

“I don’t think so. . .”

“Well, it’s an event where bands play covers of classical music,” they explained. At that, Victor’s eyes lit up, and Cardia continued, “It’s happening later tonight. Would you, perhaps, want to come with us?”

Surprise filled Victor’s face, then joy, and he grinned goofily. “Wow, that sounds . . . yeah! That would make me really happy.”

“Great!” Cardia grinned. “It’s a date.”

“Oh!” Victor blushed again, and smiled. “I suppose it is.”

“I’ll have to get you a day collar for tonight,” she said with a devious grin. “You can count on me.”

“R-Really, there’s no rush!”

“I insist,” they told him firmly. “Let your master do something nice for you.”

That certainly shut Victor up, and he said, “Absolutely . . . master.”

They left the music building, and Cardia walked toward the parking lot. “We’ll pick you up from your dorm at 7!” she called. “See you tonight!”

Victor waved, and watched her walk in the distance, until she was gone. Then he began to walk back to his dorm.

Excitement and anxiety filled him in equal portions. Fuck, this sounded like the perfect date, especially for him—he loved classical music with a nearly-unmatched passion. But what if he messed something up? What if he had a panic attack—or worse?

 _Deep breaths, Fran_ , he reminded himself, following those instructions. _I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about. It’ll be fine._

_Won’t it?_

At that moment, a surge of dread filled him, and he imagined Cardia yelling at him, telling him to leave because he’d screwed everything up; the man stopped walking at the thought, his fingers twitching. He had known Van for quite a while, and he’d just met Cardia, and he didn’t want to lose either of them! What if he. . .?

No. No, that would _not_ happen. He wasn’t going to lose them—not by a long shot. Everything was going to be fine.

Determined to hold onto that thought, Victor walked back to his dorm. He had a date to prepare for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a date! >3<  
> The song Victor plays is For Elise by Saint Motel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6-h1gIwwSI  
> And I wrote the lyrics to that Oh Lion song that Victor plays, it is original. Hope you liked that! C:


	9. Before The Concert

“Alright guys!” Impey called from Van and Cardia’s kitchen. “I’m proud to say I’ve prepared the best sandwiches you have made in your lifetimes!”

Van emerged from the bedroom, and Cardia stood up from the table. “Wow, those look great!” they exclaimed, watching Impey gently wrap the sandwiches and put them in the picnic basket. “They’re perfect—thanks so much for your help!”

“You’re lucky I was available,” Impey told them in a teasing voice. “I have a date with Lupin tonight, after all—can’t be late for that!”

“Well, we appreciate it,” Cardia said, grabbing Helsing’s hand as he approached.

“Thank you Impey. I’m glad I ran into you at the gym,” her boyfriend said simply.

“It’s no problem—anything for my friend Victor!” The man smiled, and walked toward the door. “Well, I better be off. You two take care of him, alright?”

“For sure,” Cardia replied, waving. “Thank you!”

Impey left the house, and the couple exchanged a glance with each other. “He is . . . eccentric,” Cardia said, giggling. “But he sure is an excellent chef.”

“I agree,” Van said, getting the picnic basket. He turned to Cardia. “Thanks for inviting him to the concert. I’m glad I brought that up this morning.”

“Me too.” They frowned. “But are you sure you want to use these tickets? Aleister sent them, after all. . .”

Helsing shook his head. “I won’t be using them—we have to purchase another one at the door anyway, so I’ll be sending them back like usual,” he explained. “I’ll also be sending another note for him not to contact me again.”

“He better listen this time,” Cardia muttered, folding her arms.

“I hope so,” said Van. He took her hand. “Now, shall we go pick up Victor? We’ll be a little early for the concert, but I think that’ll be nice. We can all chat and get to know each other.”

“That does sound nice,” she said. They smirked. “I can’t wait to see him with his day collar—that’s going to be great.”

Van smiled. “Me too.

“Now, shall we?”


	10. At The Concert

Victor was buttoning his flannel shirt (it was a yellow and gray pattern), preparing for the date, when his phone buzzed. Picking it up, he read it with a startled expression.

_Impey: U didn’t tell me u were dating Cardia too! SHE’S SOOOOO CUTE! >3< _

Panic and confusion filled the chemist in equal measure. He hadn’t told his friends he was dating two people because he wasn’t sure how they’d react—and how the heck did impey find out anyway?

Before he could ask, another text came in:

_Impey: Lupin asked me on a date, so I won’t be around. Hope your date goes well too friendo!!!!! (/^▽^)/_

Victor sighed—of course Impey would leave him hanging like this. But wait—since when were Impey and Lupin dating?

. . . He really didn’t have time to think about it; he needed to prepare for his _own_ date! The chemist looked in the mirror for the tenth time, checking his hair and making sure he looked at least presentable. Sure, his brain was still a bit on fire, but he was going to get through this. _Deep breaths, Fran. You’re going to be ok._

He looked in the mirror one last time, then grabbed his wallet and keys and left the dorm room.

Once he got outside, Victor started pacing. Fuck, he was nervous. And his brain refused to let up—though compared to his panic attack night it was rather calm. Still, his thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone. _I wonder what this concert is going to be like?_ he wondered, still walking back and forth. _I hope it’s not too crowded—the last thing I need is to be pressed in my a crowd._ He took a deep, determined breath. _Easy, Fran. I’m sure everything’s going to be fine. Van and Cardia are going to be there, after all—I’m sure it’ll be a nice time._

Headlights turned into the Tower Dorm parking lot, and Victor looked up to see Van driving up, with Cardia in the passenger seat. His classmate was driving a long, flat car, an older model that was covered in glossy fake woodgrain. When the car stopped in front of Victor, he noticed a few magnets and stickers on the bumper, one of which read _GOD SAVE THE PUNKS_.

“Hey there,” Van said through the open window. He was wearing his spiky jacket, and underneath was an adorable button-down shirt, patterned with various guitar models and amplifiers. Cardia was wearing a very gothic-style dress, which matched nicely with her boyfriend’s style. “You ready to go?”

“Heck yeah!” Victor exclaimed, getting in the back of the car. He almost felt underdressed in his yellow-gray flannel—maybe he should’ve worn something more exciting too. But it was a little late for regrets now.

“Then let’s do this!” Cardia exclaimed. “Woo!” Helsing stick-shifted them to drive, and the three were off.

As they navigated out of the university, Victor used the opportunity to look around the car. The woodgrain extended inside the vehicle, making for a nice finish around the wheel, walls, and radio. Metal CDs and piano albums were crammed into the side doors—a punk tune was playing quietly now, he noticed—and stacked neatly in the back, making the space absolutely filled with music. A drum-shaped air freshener made the car small vaguely of mint, and it was hanging with a wooden ornament that looked vaguely familiar. . . Then Victor realized, it was the Smashing Skulls logo: the aftermath of a bat hitting said skull, with the instrument retreating backwards and shards frozen mid-air above the head. Behind it, he could see something was written there, but he wasn’t nosy enough to ask what it was.

“So who’s playing tonight?” Victor asked, turning to his dates—he was started to get more comfortable thinking of Van and Cardia that way (especially after their intimate encounters), which made him happy. “Anyone I would know?”

Helsing shrugged. “Geeks and Beakers, Rejuvenated, Adam’s Orange, The Tolerant Widows. . .” 

“A lot of different small to mid-size groups, so you get a real mix of genres,” Cardia added. “Any of those names rings a bell?”

“I think Impey listens to Adam’s Orange,” he replied, scratching his chin. “Other than that, I don’t think so.” A thought occurred to him, and he asked, “How’d you even know this show was playing?”

There was a short pause. “Someone from my past reminded me of it,” Van finally explained. “I also used to work the show when I was a roadie.”

“And I played it once or twice before,” Cardia added. “My father was a guest there in the past, and sometimes Finis and I would play, too.”

“That’s awesome!” Victor exclaimed. Those two were just so cool. . . How could he even begin to match them? He sighed and leaned back in his seat. “So who else is playing tonight? I’m sure you two know all about the bands.”

“Naturally,” Cardia teased with a smile. “I’m excited for the Tolerant Widows—they’ve had a really nice new sound recently; I love the piano in their music, and the mastering is excellent. Van, sweetheart, you said you’re looking forward to Social Glory Cyber’s performance, tell Victor about them. . .”

Victor listened to the couple go through each band one by one, holding onto every word. It was clear this was something both were very passionate about—they really knew a lot about music. _I’ve been playing for a long time_ , Victor thought as he listened, _but Van and Cardia knows so much about the other aspects of songs—I wonder what I could learn from them?_

He was almost disappointed when they pulled into the parking lot, because Van stopped their talk about bands and simply said, “We’re here.” The large space was lit brightly with lanterns, but there didn’t seem to be too many cars, which was a relief.

Helsing parked, and the three of them stepped outside. “So we—?” Victor watched the Van walk down to the trunk and open it. _What is he doing?_ To his surprise, his classmate pulled out a picnic basket and a blanket.

Seeing Victor’s confusion, he explained, “It’s a field with open seating. I figured I’d get us dinner.”

“Oh.” Victor blushed, a smile spreading across his face. “You didn’t have to do that for me. . .”

“We wanted to,” Helsing replied, looking over at Cardia. She nodded, and gave Victor a smile.

“And don’t think I’ve forgotten about that day collar,” she teased, reaching into her pocket. Victor had definitely not forgotten either—he’d been on pins and needles about it ever since she mentioned it! He waited in anticipation as she pulled out the accessory—and revealed it to him, smiling with pride.

“Oh!” Victor gasped in delight. It was a little green choker with a tiny metal cat in the middle. 

“So you never forget whose pet you are,” Cardia said, pointing to herself and Van.

“Thank you!” He took it from Cardia and put it on, grinning the entire time. It fit perfectly, and the little collar gave him so much joy he felt like he was going to burst. He could barely put his happiness into words, but he tried to anyway. “I, um. . . I really appreciate it.”

“I can see that,” she said, chuckling. “We’ll have to reward such a good attitude later—I _did_ tell Van how much you want to listen to him, after all.”

Helsing laughed. “That does sound tempting. But perhaps we should head to the concert for now?” He smiled. “Afterwards, maybe we can have some fun.”

Victor’s heart skipped a beat, and he swallowed hard, nervous and eager at the same time. “O-Ok. Let’s go.”

They walked to the concert side by side. It didn’t take long to get to the box office, and Van paid for their tickets. Then they were let in: Victor got to take in the concert, and he gasped.

It really was a wide-open field, with people spread out nicely on blankets and chairs, and a wide stage in front of it all. Some lights were shining down on the audience, surrounding them with a purple glow as everyone waited for the show to start. It looked more like a group meditation center than a concert, and that atmosphere was quite reassuring.

“We know the _best_ spot,” Cardia informed Victor, gesturing for him to follow. He did, and they soon stopped in the middle of the field, a nice distance from the stage—not too close, and not too far either. Van set up the blanket, and the three sat down. Cardia opened the picnic basket: inside were three pristine-looking sandwiches, each cut into two halves, and three bottles of water. “Shall we?”

“Thanks,” Victor said, taking a sandwich. He had skipped dinner, like usual, and part of him felt guilty for eating. _Do I really deserve this?_ But he couldn’t _not_ eat the food Helsing and Cardia had prepared for him, so he took a big bite, eyes widening in delight at the flavors that filled his mouth.

“This is amazing!” the chemist exclaimed, digging into the sandwich. “Tastes kinda familiar though. . .”

Van Helsing smiled. “I asked Impey to make this for us,” he explained, nibbling at his own food.

“Wow—he didn’t tell me anything about that!” Victor chuckled. “Which is funny, since usually that guy can’t keep his mouth shut. . .”

“I asked him to keep it between us,” his classmate explained. “Though he was _really_ itching to reveal this to you, I wanted it to be a surprise. I figured you’d relax more with some familiar food.”

The chemist smiled, grateful they had put so much thought into this. “Thank you.”

“Not to mention. . .” Van folded his arms grumpily. “I . . . am a terrible cook.”

Victor gasped. “ _No_! Really?”

“Truly.” Cardia said, laughing. “He really tries though. It just turns out . . . unpalatable.”

Helsing sighed, taking another bite of Impey’s amazing sandwich. “As much as I put into my food, all I get out of it is people asking to excuse themselves.” He shrugged. “Everyone has their talents. Cooking is just not mine.”

“. . . How’d you even know about Impey’s cooking, anyway?” Victor asked.

Van chuckled. “He brings cupcakes for everyone’s birthday. I figured if that was any indication, his meals must be as amazing as his baking.”

“Fair assumption,” the chemist said.

There was a moment of silence. Then Cardia asked, “So Victor, why did you choose chemistry as your major? Seems like you could’ve easily done music.”

Victor smiled. This was a topic he was very comfortable with. “I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of creating something from nothing,” he explained, “ever since I was a kid. Not to mention understanding the fundamental principles of our world, and everything in the known universe.” 

He sighed. “It’s kind of comforting that things can be broken down like that, reduced to simple, understandable parts that can be created, duplicated, and studied. I kind of wish more things in life were like that.”

Cardia said nothing, and immediately Victor’s brain was nagging him. _God, why did you have to ramble on about that?!_ he shouted at himself. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

He took a deep breath to try and calm his thoughts. As he did so, Helsing said, “That’s a pretty cool reason.”

“R-Really?!” he turned to his classmate, a relieved smile on his face.

“I wish the same thing sometimes,” said Cardia, letting out a sigh. “Life can get pretty complicated.”

Victor let out an internal sigh of relief. “Thanks. I guess your Music Performance major has an obvious reason behind it?”

“Aw, is it that obvious?” Cardia teased, making a silly face. “I choose Music Performance to . . . _gasp_ . . . perform music. Duh.”

Victor laughed. “So Van, why did you choose Forensics?”

“I want to do a career that helps people,” Helsing explained. “At first I thought I wanted to be a cop, but then I realized I’d just be contributing to a toxic system, and I don’t want to be a part of that. So I’d like to be a Victim Advocate instead, when I graduate in the spring.”

“That’s awesome!” Victor exclaimed.

“Thanks.” He shrugged. “I’ve seen toxic systems before, and I don’t want to be a part of one again.”

“I see.”

Cardia opened her mouth to ask another question, but her gaze was drawn up to the stage, “It’s starting,” they whispered to Victor, as the lights shifted from purple to white, and shone down brightly on the audience. People cheered loudly, and in the midst of their screams, the performances began.

Victor had one of the best times of his life. He was already a huge fan of classical music, but to see it remixed and performed in so many ways was a new delight. Each song became his new favorite, as every band gave a new interpretation on some of his favorite tunes, along with ones he’d never heard before.

As they listened, he felt an arm come around his back, and turned to see Van embracing him in a side-hug. Then another arm came from the other side, and suddenly he was being embraced by both Cardia and Helsing. Victor blushed, then smiled, grateful for such affection. _They’re being so nice to me . . . even if I don’t deserve it._

Finally, sadly, the concert came to an end. Adam’s Orange wished them a good night, and the lights returned to their purple glow. “So Victor, what did you think?!” Cardia asked, clearly eager for his answer.

“I loved it!” the chemist exclaimed, unable to contain his joy. “That version of Fur Elise was just _divine_! And then The Four Seasons—I didn’t know baroque could sound like that! Not to mention the—”

He stopped, turning away, suddenly self-conscious. “Sorry, I tend to go on a bit sometimes,” Victor said, laughing. “I know it can be annoying.”

“Come on,” Cardia said, reaching down and taking his hand. “We like listening to you. Right Van?”

“Absolutely,” Helsing answered, giving Victor a reassuring smile. “Your joy is a beautiful thing. There’s no need to hide it.”

Now the chemist was blushing, and he smiled. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

“Anytime.” Cardia grinned. “So, did you have a favorite?”

“Hmm. . .” He rubbed his chin. “I really liked all of them. . . the Tolerant Widows was really good, like you said. . . Oh, and Death’s Shepherds! The way that woman played the violin. . .!” The chemist let out a happy sigh. “That was _magical_. I wish I could play like that—maybe I could get some tips from her.” He laughed.

“Would you like to do that?”

Victor frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Cardia smirked, and glanced over at her boyfriend. “The tickets I got came with backstage passes,” Van said with a satisfied smile, pulling out three slips of paper from his pocket. “So, if you’d like, you can definitely ask Death’s Shepherds’ violinist for advice. Want to?”

“Would I?!” He let out a delighted squeal. “I’d love to! Oh man, thank you so much!”

Before he knew it, his arms were around both Van Helsing and Cardia, squeezing both of them tightly. Then Victor realized what he was doing, and quickly let go, clearing his throat. “Erm, sorry. I got kinda excited.”

“You apologize too much,” Cardia said to him. “We _like_ seeing you excited. Right Van?”

Helsing nodded. “You should be more confident in who you are, Victor. We don’t mind at all,” he said.

The words washed over Victor like a calming wave, and the chemist let out a relaxed sigh. “Thank you. I forget that sometimes.”

“You’re welcome.” Helsing stood up from the ground. “Now, help me get the blanket, and we can all head backstage?”

The chemist nodded. He and Cardia stood up from the blanket. After it was folded, they headed up to the stage, where a small line had formed. People were breaking down the equipment, and a man in a crew shirt stood in the front of the line. It appeared they were waiting for something.

“It usually takes a few minutes,” Van explained as they got in line. “They have to assemble all the bands together backstage before they’ll let us go.”

“And it takes a while for the bands to get ready,” Cardia added.

Victor nodded. _Right, he’s worked this show before, and she’s played it. They’re both so far out of my league. . ._

“LAURA?!”

The new voice made Victor jump, and her turned around. One of the people on stage had stopped working, and he was staring directly at them.

No—he was staring directly at Van Helsing

“Laura?” Victor repeated, glancing from the man to Helsing. He noticed that, for the first time that night, Van looked unsettled, and he was completely frozen. Cardia, on the other hand, looked more angry than he had ever seen her—like she was going to punch someone.

Then the chemist realized. _Laura. . . That must be Van Helsing’s deadname._ He looked from Cardia to Van to the guy on stage. _Shit._

The man ran down the stairs, and stopped in front of the three, staring quizzically at Van. “It _is_ you,” he muttered, eyes widening.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll bet you that the song in the car is this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7RUeMCZL3Q  
> Also I put a tiiiiiny reference to the song Washington Square Park by The Wonder Years with the line "panic attack night" so you're welcome lol: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QLZZ0iF9mg&list=PLKAm0swRNcksl5oVJZ1rAkpWcKC5akdDC&index=12&t=0s


	11. Confrontation with Chester

“Chester,” Van muttered. His eyes narrowed. It had been a long time since he’d seen the other roadie, and he hadn’t changed much—well, aside from the straggly beard he now sported. “I told you, I don’t go by that name anymore. Please, just call me Van Helsing.”

“I didn’t expect to see you,” Chester replied with a smile, seemingly ignoring his words. “Did you get the tickets Aleister sent? Aw man, he’ll be so happy to see you!”

 _Shit._ “Aleister is here?” he asked, trying to remain calm. No need to panic—yet. There was still time to escape the situation. Still, this all felt tense. Hopefully Victor and Cardia couldn’t feel it too.

“Yeah, he’s lingering backstage somewhere.” Chester laughed. “You know how he is, always has to be in charge of everything.”

Van nodded. It was at that moment he realized his breathing was shallow, rough, not normal. Cardia grabbed his hand, and said, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Chester?”

“Huh?” he turned to her, and asked, “Uh, have we met before?”

“No, but you just deadnamed my boyfriend,” they snapped. “The least you can do is apologize.”

“That’s right,” Victor added, surprising Van. “You’re being quite rude.”

“Dead. . .?” Chester furrowed his brow. “Her name was Laura when we met—”

“ _His_ ,” Cardia corrected him. “And he doesn’t use that name anymore. So. Are you going to apologize, or do I have to make you?”

“Ok, ok!” The man held up his hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any harm. She just—I mean, uh, _he_ was just different when I knew her—him! Ok?”

Cardia sighed, and turned to Van, squeezing his hand. “You alright?”

He nodded, and then noticed the look Victor was giving him, full of concern and worry. “I’m fine,” he said, finding courage in the chemist’s gaze.

The line backstage was moving, but the group barely noticed. “Wait are you on a date right now?” Chester asked. “Does she know that you used to be a—”

“Chester, what do you want?” His limit had been reached, and the words snapped out of his mouth. “Why did you want to see me?”

The roadie hesitated, then laughed. “Well, if I’m being honest, I wanted to ask why you quit.” He sighed. “You were doing so well with Smashing Skulls! I thought you were gonna be a full part of their crew, leave me in the dust. And then you just . . . left.”

Van took a breath, trying to mask his internal struggle with a calm demeanor. Cardia squeezed his hand again, fueling him with strength. “I. . .”

To his surprise, someone gripped his other hand, and he turned to see Victor there, giving him a reassuring smile. Van smiled back, then turned to the roadie. “I don’t owe you an explanation, Chester.”

“Come on!” The man scowled. “Even after everything we’ve been though?”

Helsing sighed. “Look . . . all I’ll tell you is that I left because of Aleister.” At that, a memory surfaced, and he struggled not to wince. “That’s it.”

Chester’s face twisted into utter confusion, and he scratched his head. “Well, I appreciate you being honest with me,” he said, “but Aleister is the nicest person I know. I have a hard time believing he made you leave.”

“If that’s what you were going to say, why’d you even ask?” Cardia said. 

“Because I wanted to know.” He turned to Van. “So, are you going to tell me the real reason?”

“I told you that’s all I’d tell you,” Van said firmly to him. “It’s a private matter.”

“Fair enough,” the roadie said, shrugging. He smiled. “It was good to see you, Laura—uh, Van,” he corrected himself quickly, noticing the look Cardia was giving him. “Can’t believe how different you look now. I’ll tell Aleister you said hi.”

“No, wait—!” But he was already gone. Van sighed, and turned to his girlfriend, then to his date. They let go of his hands, but not before giving them a final squeeze.

“Are you alright?” Victor asked him. “What was that all about?”

“I’m fine, I think,” Van said, holding up a hand. “I’m sure you have some questions. Can they wait until after we finish our time backstage?”

“Are you sure you still want to go backstage?”

“Positive.” Helsing grinned. “I think seeing you get violin tips will make me feel a bit better.”

And it did help—somewhat. Watching Victor and the violinist of Death’s Shepherd (Allison) talk music was comforting, and Cardia even got to catch up with some old friends from Adam’s Orange. But he still found himself looking around, checking his environment, paranoia rising—Aleister was here, after all. He dreaded the moment he’d see the man again, and hoped today would not be the day he did.

Thankfully, their backstage experience went without incident, and the three walked back to the parking lot. “That was really nice of her to show me her instrument,” Victor said as they reached the car. “And that technique, moving her fingers across the violin’s neck so fast! I _have_ to write a song that uses that.”

“That sounds nice,” Helsing said, getting in the driver’s side, hesitating to start the car. This time, Cardia let Victor sit in the front, so the chemist got into the passenger side, and Cardia got in the backseat.

“You ok?” Victor asked him. “How are you feeling now?”

“A bit better,” he admitted, folding his hands across his chest. “I didn’t expect to run into Chester tonight—or anyone I knew, for that matter. But I suppose I should’ve expected it.”

“I guess you knew him back when you were working as a roadie?”

“Yeah.” Van sighed. “He knew me before I transitioned. I guess Chester can’t get it through his head that I’ve been a man all along.”

“Sounds like it,” Cardia said. “He seemed like a real piece of work. Deadnaming you like that in front of everybody.”

“You looked like you were going to knock him out!” Victor exclaimed. “Not that he didn’t deserve it. . .”

“Well, I was ready to!” Cardia said, smirking. “He was being an asshole to my boyfriend—that’s all the reason I need.”

“. . . That’s fair.”

There was a pause. “Thank you, Victor,” Van finally said. “You and Cardia really . . . helped give me courage.”

The chemist blushed. “I-I just did what anyone would do. I’m glad I could help.”

“You’re a good person, pet,” Helsing said, reaching out and gently petting his date’s hair. Victor leaned into his touch, letting out a contented sigh.

“It’s really nothing. . .” Victor laughed awkwardly. “I don’t see why you’re rewarding me right now.”

“It’s not nothing to me,” Van replied simply, continuing to pet the chemist. Cardia watched them both with a big grin on her face. They looked like they were formulating an idea—he wondered what his datemate was thinking, and couldn’t wait to find out.

Finally, he ceased petting the other man, letting his hand trail down to the day collar before returning it to his side. “Now,” he said, giving Victor a smile, “would you like to have some more fun with Cardia and I?”

Surprise flashed on the chemist’s face—Van couldn’t help but laugh. They had been pretty clear of their intentions early in the night; had Victor really not have had a clue? Or perhaps he was so self-deprecating, he thought it wouldn’t happen? “T-That would be lovely,” the chemist said, fiddling his fingers. He laughed. “Sorry, my brain is doing the whole ‘deserve’ thing again. I know I don’t need to earn this, but. . .”

“Man, your brain is rude,” Cardia said. She reached over and stroked Victor’s hair. “Relax, pet. Ask yourself: what do _you_ want to do?”

“I want to come back with you,” Victor said, answering without hesitation.

“Then come back with us, pet,” Cardia said, removing her hand with a smile. “We know how to treat you right.”

The chemist thought for a moment, then nodded.

“Ok. I-I’ll come back with you. Thank you.”

“No, thank _you_ , Victor,” Van said, starting the car and backing out of the parking spot. “I really enjoyed our previous time together—I can’t wait to have some more fun with you.”

“R-Really?!” Victor stammered.

Helsing chuckled at his surprise, and nodded. “Of course.

“Now, let’s head home. It’ll be a short journey. . .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Datemate" is the nonbinary version of girlfriend/boyfriend


	12. Pet and Dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains oral sex, a blowjob, gagging, blindfolding, dominance/submission, pet play, collaring, petting, and aftercare.

Victor’s heart was pounding in excitement as they drove back to the apartment. At his request, Cardia was holding his hand as they drove, helping to keep him grounded as his brain attacked him over and over again.

 _I don’t have to deserve this_ , he reminded himself, taking a deep breath. _There’s nothing to deserve here. I want to have a good time with them, and that’s what we’re going to do._

He tried to ignore his prickling mind as they drove, and all too soon, they had reached the apartment. As he stepped out of the car and watched Van unlock the door, his brain was still a little bit on fire, but he kept repeating his affirmation, over and over again: _I don’t need to deserve this. I don’t need to deserve this._

They walked toward the bedroom, and Cardia gestured for him to follow. Victor swallowed nervously, and then obeyed, entering the room with the two. Helsing and Cardia sat on the end of the bed, leaving a gap, and Van patted the spot. The chemist smiled, and sat between them, feeling their warmth as their shoulders touched his.

“I have a few ideas for a scene the three of us could participate in,” Cardia said to him. “But before we start, I want to get an idea of what you like. Sounds good?”

“Um, ok!” Victor said. “What questions to you have?”

“Well first, what are your kinks?” Cardia asked.

So blunt! Victor’s voice caught in his throat, and his face turned completely red. “I . . . um. . .”

“Come on, we’re not going to kink-shame you,” Van said, giving the chemist a reassuring smile. “Quite the opposite—if we can, we’d like to indulge you. So, what do you like?”

The chemist took a deep breath—he had _never_ said his kinks out loud before, not to anyone. For him they were shameful things to be tucked away in private, and never spoken about to anybody. But Helsing had lured his desires out of him the other day, and that went over well. Being open about his kinks had made for a good experience. So perhaps it would make for a good experience now?

Van reached over and gently rubbed his back, and Victor felt just a bit more reassured. So, taking a deep breath, he gathered his courage and turned to Cardia. “U-Um. . . I like to be dominated. . . Big surprise there.” He let out an awkward laugh. “I like being called a pet and being petted; being fed. . .” The chemist paused. Fuck, why was this so hard to put into words? He concentrated for a moment. Underneath all of his desires, what was he _really_ after? “I like feeling cared for and safe, but also endangered a bit, in a vulnerable space,” he finally managed to say. “And that can take many forms.”

“I see.” Cardia said. 

“What about sex?” Helsing asked. “Do you have any limits there?”

“Um . . . I don’t want any penetration. Not yet. It kinda squicks me out,” Victor admitted. He had never told anyone that before either, and yet here he was confessing it. “I like my dick being played with though. . . And I’d be open to getting it, um, sucked.” He laughed, turning away. “Sorry. I have such strange tastes. . .”

“Come on, those things are perfectly normal,” Cardia said. “I’m not too keen on penetration either.” Victor turned to her in surprise, and they gave him a grin. “I’m actually on the asexual spectrum—sex for me is a very different experience. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of, alright?”

Victor let out a sigh of relief. “O-Ok. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Cardia said. She put her arm around the chemist, and he smiled.

“Is there anything else you want us to know?” Van asked.

“Um . . .” Victor thought for a moment. In that silence, his brain struck him, and he closed his eyes. He was a terrible person; why did he think he deserved this? People like him didn’t deserve nice things.

 _No_. He took a deep breath. _I want this. I don’t care what I deserve. I want this._

“I guess you already know I’m inexperienced,” he told his partners with a laugh, “and that my brain can be terrible. Other than that, I guess . . . I don’t mind if you get a little mean, as long as you’re gentle to me in the end. Is that ok?”

“Of course.” Van bent down and kissed the top of his head, making him blush for . . . what, the fiftieth time since he’d met them? “You’re ok, Victor. You’re always ok.”

“Absolutely. Hmm. . .” Cardia grinned, and paused for a minute, clearly in thought. Then they turned to Victor. “Would you be open to, perhaps, a gag and a blindfold, my pet?”

Victor’s heart skipped a beat. “A-Absolutely! I mean, that would be amazing!”

“Excellent.” Cardia reached out, and gently pet his head. “You can always stop the scene or change your mind if it gets to intense. Ok?”

“Ok.”

“Alright. Are you ready to begin the scene now?”

The chemist nodded, and she grinned. “Good boy. I’ll give you a non-verbal safeword when you’re gagged. Until then, the safe word is red, yellow, green. Understand?” Victor nodded again. “Good.”

Cardia stood up from the bed, and suddenly they were no longer the kind person Victor had just been talking to. Now she was a dominating figure, grinning down at her two playthings with eyes filled with glee. “Stand up and strip, boys.” they ordered, sitting in a chair at the corner of the room, crossing their legs with a smile. “ _Now_.”

“Yes master,” Van immediately answered.

“Yes, master,” Victor said, standing as quick as he could. As he started to take off his shirt, he suddenly felt very nervous. Fuck, he was going to screw this up, wasn’t he? He was going to ruin everything, and—

“Here, let me help you with that, pet.” Suddenly Cardia was in front of him, guiding his shirt off. Once his chest was revealed, she reached out with a smile and ran her hand on it, gently pinching his nipples—not hard enough to hurt, but enough to show who was in charge. “You’re quite a sexy beast, aren’t you?” they asked with a smirk, and that was enough to make Victor’s anxieties slither to the back of his mind. Cardia gave him a smile, and asked, “Now pet, did you happen to bring your collar with you? Or shall we go with your day one?”

“I-I actually have it,” he said, blushing. “It’s in my pants pocket. . .” It gave him comfort to carry the thing around tonight—fuck, he was weird, wasn’t he? No, he was normal; it was like Van said, he was ok, he was always ok. . .

“Excellent.” Cardia reached down and put her hands on his pants button. They paused for a moment, giving Victor a chance to stop them, but he did not. So she gently unbuttoned it and unzipped his zipper, pulling his khakis and underwear down to the ground. After he stepped out of his pants, Cardia bent down, taking the collar from his pocket—and grinned at the sight of his cock when they came back up. “Such a nice package you have, Frankenstein,” she teased, making Victor flush red. “We’ll have to please it tonight, won’t we?”

“I-I would like that, master,” he managed to say. “I. . .”

His speech drifted off when they reached for his neck, unclasping the day collar. He could hear his heartbeat as she put the play collar back against his skin, loving the sensation once again, and when the final clasp sealed it against his neck, the chemist felt himself sinking ever deeper into subspace.

“Such a good boy,” Cardia cooed, placing the day collar on the dresser. “I have two _very_ good boys in front of me. . . How best to play with them, I wonder?”

Turning to Van, Victor saw that he, too, was now naked, and Cardia walked over to the closet, taking out a few items. They placed some on the dresser, and then walked back to Van, holding a thick, purple collar in her hands. “Let’s mark you as mine, Helsing,” she said with a smirk, reaching up. “Tonight, you will be my dog, and he,” she said, pointing to Victor, “will be my pet. Understand?”

“Yes, master,” Van replied, his smooth voice bringing beauty to Victor’s ears.

“Aaaand, done,” Cardia said, finishing sealing the collar around the man’s neck. That’s when Victor noticed the O-ring around it—and a moment later, Cardia grabbed a leash from atop the dresser and clasped it to Van’s collar, giving it a slight tug. “Such a good dog,” they purred. “Are you ready to follow my commands?”

“I am, master,” Helsing answered.

“Excellent.” She turned to Victor with a grin. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten you, pet. Get on the bed and spread your legs.”

The chemist nodded and obeyed, driven by his master’s voice. Though he was nervous, he was also anticipating what exactly would come next—and he was excited to find out.

“Good.” Cardia pulled on Van’s leash and led him to the bed, having him sit down on the side of it. Then they went next to Victor, reaching out and stroking his cheek with one gentle hand. “I’m just about ready to gag and blindfold you, pet. Are you ready for this?” she asked.

“Y-Yes master!” Victor blurted, excited. “Please. I would love that.”

“I’m glad.” Cardia smiled. Then they reached over to the dresser and picked up an instrument, showing it to him with a smirk. To his surprise, the gag was shaped like a small dog bone. “The perfect gag for the perfect pet,” she teased. “Now, open wide. . .”

The chemist obeyed, letting his mouth open. Cardia started with the back, undoing the strap and bringing it around Victor’s head, before gently placing the bone inside his mouth and clasping the strap, sealing it. “How’s that?” they asked. 

“Mmmm!” Victor replied, nodding in affirmation. He could make sounds alright, and he could even breathe with the ball gag on. The bone wasn’t solid per say, but chewable, which made things easier for a beginner like him. It felt _full_ in his mouth, and it fit well. The idea of being incapable of speech as he was played with really turned him on—though he was starting to drool a bit. That was embarrassing.

Cardia noticed this and laughed, gently wiping the chemist’s chin with her finger. “Don’t worry, that’s perfectly normal,” she assured him, noticing the anxiety building up in his eyes. They reached over and put a tiny bell in his palm, making him squeeze it with his fist. “If you want to slow down or stop, shake this, ok, pet?” He nodded, and she brought her hand up to his hair, stroking gently. “Good boy. Such a good boy.” He leaned into her pets, sighing. Fuck, did he love this.

“Now, would you like the blindfold next?” they asked him. “Or is this enough for you?” Nod yes for blindfold, no for just the gag.”

Victor thought for a moment. Then, he nodded, making Cardia smile wide. “Good to hear, pet,” she said, picking up the cloth from the dresser. “Hold still.”

They brought the blindfold around his eyes, and suddenly Victor was surrounded in darkness. He was struck with the thought that he couldn’t _see_ —which was obvious, but it just wasn’t like he expected, with some light pouring in through the cloth. Instead, he was submerged by black, and that became his world. His ears focused on every sound, and he could hear himself shift on the bed, hear his heart pound in his chest, hear Cardia’s breathing, and—

A gentle hand introduced itself with one finger on his chest, tracing there. “All good, pet?” Cardia asked. Her voice seemed louder in this newfound space. “I’ll give you a moment to feel it out. But if you need to stop, don’t forget you can always ring the bell.”

Victor nodded. But it wasn’t that he didn’t feel safe, it was that he . . . well, he was having a hard time putting it into words. But the darkness would normally scare him, light his anxieties ablaze and send his brain screaming. But in this scenario, with his lovers, with his speech and sight incapacitated, he found himself in a calming place, waiting eagerly for what would happen next. And that was quite soothing to the chemist.

“Alright then,” Cardia said. They brought more of their hand onto his chest, and then brought it upward, until they were tracing the collar around his neck. He could feel her fingers dancing over it, and his heart skipped a beat. “Alright dog,” they said, speaking to Van now. “Introduce yourself to my pet’s cock, won’t you?”

“Mmmm?!” Victor gasped in surprise—well, tried to gasp, but the gag got in the way. Cardia giggled, and said, “Quite the strong reaction.” He felt their hands on his arms, and they gently pushed his hands behind his back, bringing his wrists together and placing their palm on top of them, keeping them there. Now all he could do was wait. . .

And that’s when the chemist felt it. A thick finger gently touched his penis, then traced up and down his shaft, pressing firmly against the top of his cock. Victor moaned around the gag. In the blindfold, every touch was given an added layer of sensory pleasure, and being touched like this was absolutely amazing. He leaned forward, wanting more, and Cardia laughed.

“Patience, boy,” they told him. “Dog, lick his cock.”

Victor let out another shocked noise—he hadn’t been expecting that! And before he could properly process it, it was happening: a wet tongue landed on his member, and licked up its length, making the chemist shiver in delight. Fuck, he had never felt anything like this before, and he needed more. . .

“Good dog,” his master said. “Keep licking.”

And then his cock was being ravaged by that tongue, attacked from all sides by a wet surface he could not see, but only feel. Every lick made him utter in happy surprise around the gag, and his noises only got louder and louder with time. Cardia giggled next to him and said, “Oh, you are certainly enjoying this, aren’t you pet?” He wanted to respond to her, at least nod in affirmation, but he was so caught up in Helsing’s oral fucking that he couldn’t even take a second to do that.

Cardia’s next words came without warning: “Stop licking his cock.” The tongue retreated from his member, and Victor turned in the direction of their voice, confused and disappointed. But then she said, “Now suck it, dog.”

And then something wet touched the tip of his shaft, making him shudder, and then it was going down his penis, engulfing it bit by bit. He realized it was Van’s lips and mouth, coming up his dick and licking it along the way. That tongue wasn’t done yet, and it lapped up his helpless cock—that, along with Helsing’s mouth around his member, was really doing a number on the chemist, and as he cried around the gag, he felt himself being pushed to his limits.

By the time Van had all of his dick in his mouth, Victor was a trembling, screaming wreck of a man, being pulled further and further with every lick, prod, and suck that the dog did. Fuck, the sensation was absolutely amazing, and he couldn’t take it for much longer—he was going to cum any second now. . .!

Next to him, Cardia chuckled—surely they could see it too, couldn’t they? “Go on, pet,” she said him. “Release. I know you want to.”

And he did. Semen shot from his penis and went right into Van’s mouth, which was a strange but wonderful sensation—he’d never cum down someone’s throat like that. It was quite a rush, and he found himself panting afterward, overwhelmed completely. Cardia reached down and squeezed his hand, and said to Van, “Good dog. Eat.” There was a gulping sound, and the chemist realized with a shiver of delight that Van had swallowed his cum. “Now let go.” And so, Victor felt his cock slip out of Helsing’s mouth, bit by bit, until it was back in the open air.

There was a long moment of silence. “I’m going to take of the blindfold now, pet,” Cardia said to the chemist. “Get ready.”

He nodded, and felt her hands travel to the back of his head, ruffling through his hair to get the knot she’d tied. Once it was undone, they slowly removed the blindfold, and the light returned.

Victor found himself blinking for a minute as he adjusted his vision. Then he looked in front of him, and saw Van sitting next to his feet, smiling at the chemist, and Cardia at his side, smiling. She reached out and took the gag off of his mouth, and wiped the drool from his chin.

“Oh,” he said. Everything they had just done was hitting him like a wave, and a smile filled his face, embarrassment creeping into his mind. “ _Oh_. . .”

Fuck, not again. The sub drop threatened to devour him, looming over Victor like a shadow of doom, and he trembled, tears threatening to break. But before the wave of shame could crash over him, two arms were around his naked body, hugging him, warding off the darkness—for now, at least.

“Easy does it,” Van said, squeezing the chemist harder, holding him tight. “Stay with us, pet. Stay with us.”

Victor hugged him back, and before he knew it he was crying, his tears hitting Helsing’s bare shoulder. What they had done was so /good/—it was everything he had ever wanted, really. So why was he so miserable right now?

“Come on, pet.” Suddenly Cardia was next to him with a cup of tea, reaching out and petting his hair, a gentle smile on her face. “How was the scene?” she asked him. Van let go of Victor and went to his side, letting the chemist take the cup they were offering him. “Not too intense for you, was it?”

“N-No,” he said, handing her the tiny bell back and taking the tea. “It was _perfect_. . . B-But I’m just. . .” He laughed, stirring his cup with the spoon Cardia had brought, listening to the clinking sound it made for a moment. “I’m just terrible,” he concluded finally. “You both did everything right—I’m the problem here, aren’t I?” Scientifically it made sense; emotionally it made sense. Therefore, he—

“Bullshit,” Helsing said, interrupting Victor’s thoughts. “Everyone experiences sub drop. It impacts some harder than others. That doesn’t mean you’re terrible.” He reached out and gently cupped Victor’s cheek, and the chemist leaned into his touch with a contented sigh. “You’re not terrible, Victor. The mind is a complicated thing.”

“Stole my line, babe,” Cardia teased. The whole time, she had continued to pet Victor, and that was giving him a great amount of comfort as his brain nagged at him. “Some brains can be bullies. That doesn’t mean you’re terrible.” They sat down on the bed and put their head on Victor’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” he said, hugging himself, trying to make sense of the conflicting feelings within him. "I just need a minute."

“We’ll stay with you,” Cardia said firmly. “For as long as you need, we’re here by your side. Understand, pet?”

“You don’t have to do that,” he muttered. “This will probably take a long time, anyway. . .”

“We care about you,” Van said simply, his hand trailing down to hold Victor’s, “so we’re not leaving you, pet.”

The chemist sighed, leaning against the side of the bed, bringing his other hand to his hair. Why was this so complicated? Why couldn’t his brain just let him have a good time like this?

 _Because you don’t deserve it_ , his mind whispered. _After everything you did, you think you deserve them, deserve their love? Not a chance._

 _I deserve love_ , he told himself firmly. He hadn’t quite believed that before, but his time with Van and Cardia was showing him that was true—that he deserved love, that he deserved love for himself and for the capacity to love others. Something he thought he would need to earn. 

No, perhaps he still believed he had to earn it. Perhaps that was why the feelings were so intense: because he thought he hadn’t earned their affections properly. Because he wasn’t worthy of earning it in the first place.

“I must. . .” He drifted off as he realized what he would have to do, a chill running down his spine.

_I have to tell them. Tell them what I did. Maybe then, if they accept me. . .!_

_No, there’s no chance they’d do that. It’ll be just like you predicted. They’ll hate you for sure._

_But I have to try. Or I’ll just keep suffering like this whenever I’m with them, over and over again. I don’t want that!_

_Then let them reject you. Rip the bandaid off, watch them throw you away like the trash you are._

_Shut up!_

Someone squeezed his hand, and Victor jumped, startled out of the darkness by Van’s comforting touch. He turned to Helsing, who gave the chemist a reassuring pet. “You alright?” he asked. “You looked very intense for a moment there.”

“I. . . Um. . .” He swallowed. Could he do this? Did he dare? Maybe, just maybe, it was worth a shot—even if they would surely throw him out in the end.

Finally, he said said, “I think there’s . . . something I should tell you both. Not right now. Maybe we can meet up tomorrow, and I can. . .” He looked from Van to Cardia and sighed. “I’d like to tell you both something about me. That’s all.”

“Of course,” Cardia said, reached out and stroking his hair with Van. The feeling of two masters petting him at once made Victor let out a happy sigh, and he leaned into their touches, his anxiety abated for a moment. “We can discuss more details tomorrow, organize a time and place. But know you don’t owe us anything.” 

She leaned forward, and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “How are you feeling now, pet?” they asked.

“Still anxious,” Victor admitted. Various worries were still prickling him again, and he shook his head in despair.

“Share them with us,” Van suggested. “That might help a bit.”

“Ok. . .” He bit his lip, then turned to Helsing, blurting out one of the things his nagging brain was telling him. “I know it’s stupid, but . . . I-I’m sure my cock tasted terrible, didn’t it?”

Van froze for a moment, clearly surprised. Then he smiled, and let out a warm laugh. “Victor, your cock tasted _excellent_ ,” he purred, brushing hair out of the chemist’s eyes. “You have nothing to worry about there, love.”

 _Love._ Being called that made Victor shiver in happiness, and he smiled, blushing. “Thank you.” 

He finished up his tea. They truly did love him, didn’t they? And as much as it terrified him to admit it . . . he was hopelessly in love with them, too.

Victor sighed, feeling Van and Cardia’s touches around him: Cardia’s head on his shoulder, Helsing holding his hand, her fingers and Van’s idly stroking his hair, comforting him greatly. Surely this couldn’t last. Surely they would hate him if they knew what he’d done.

But maybe there was a chance that they wouldn’t.

Victor leaned into Van’s strong shoulder and closed his eyes. Once again, he felt exhausted, beaten up by his brain after such a good, intense experience. As he drifted off, it struck him that he wanted many more times like this—he wanted _this_ , now, together with two people who were so kind to him it was honestly unbelievable.

 _Shame it can’t last_ , his brain snickered.

As he fell asleep, the chemist had one final thought of defiance:

_We’ll see about that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the description/notes: It got spicy. C:< And sad. :,C  
> The gag Cardia uses is based on this one: https://www.lovehoney.com/product.cfm?p=33981&SSAID=827189&sscid=81k4_7x2ci


	13. Stuffing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contains feeding kink, hints of stuffing, praise kink, and petting.

Van woke up early to prepare breakfast—with Cardia’s help, of course. He didn’t dare try and cook by himself, or disaster would come (disaster _always_ came with his cooking, unfortunately). By the time Victor came out of the bedroom, they were nearly done, and he turned to the chemist with a smile.

“Why, good morning, pet,” Helsing said cheerfully, loving how much that brightened Victor’s expression. He was so fucking cute—and Van could barely believe he was lucky enough to be dating him. “We’re preparing breakfast.”

“I see,” Victor noted. “Anything I can do to help?”

“We’re almost done,” Cardia said, flipping over the sausages and opening the waffle maker. She smirked. “I guess the one thing you can do is sit down and wait for us to feed you. How about that?”

At that, the chemist froze, and for a moment, Helsing was worried. But then a laugh left Victor’s mouth, and he said, “That sounds excellent.” He sat at the table, and a minute later, Van and Cardia brought the food over.

He sat down next to Victor, and Cardia pulled up a chair next to the chemist. “I’m going to stay on the sidelines for this one,” they told Victor, grinning. “Let Van take over this time.”

“Oh! Ok!” the chemist said. “Why is that?”

“What, did you think I’d forgotten how much you want to listen to me?” Van teased, sending a blush to the chemist’s face. “Not quite, pet.” He grinned. “It’s my turn to play with you—if that’s something you would like, of course.”

Victor didn’t even hesitate: he nodded immediately, a grin spreading to his face. “T-That would be lovely.”

But Van noticed the anxiety in the chemist’s eyes. He reached over the reassuringly stroke his hair. “What’s your brain telling you this time, pet?” he asked. “Is it making a fuss over this?”

Victor laughed. “You got me.” His smile faded, and he muttered, blushing, “It’s. . . It’s shaming me for even liking this. Who gets turned on by something as simple as _eating_?”

“Plenty of people, that’s who,” Van replied. “Nothing wrong with that.” He paused. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. But—”

“That’s the thing: I _want_ to!” the chemist exclaimed. He took a deep breath. “I want this . . . so much.”

“Then allow me the honor of feeding you, pet,” Van said, cutting a piece of sausage and stabbing it with the fork. “If I may.”

Victor was clearly transfixed as he prepared the bite, and the chemist quickly nodded, making Helsing smile. “Ok. Thank you.”

“Good.” He reached out with the fork. “Say ahh, pet.”

Victor opened his mouth, and Van watched as his lover received the food, gently taking it off the fork and chewing. Fuck, it was just as adorable as it had been last time, and he found himself grinning as he watched his pet. Oh, he was going to enjoy this _very_ much.

He fed Victor slowly, intimately, giving the chemist small bites just so he could watch Victor eat more. While feeding wasn’t really his kink—it was more Cardia’s, really—the amount of gentle control he could offer the chemist was a real turn-on. And, of course, he relished petting the man, becoming a master for this anxious plaything, guiding Victor through his anxiety and bringing a wave of relaxation over the chemist. It was somewhat unbelievable how much the chemist changed over the course of the feeding—and it filled Helsing with so much happiness he felt like he would burst.

They finished the sausage all to quickly for Van’s liking, and moved onto the waffles. He poured some syrup on the side of the plate, dipped a bite into it, and offered it to Victor. “Eat up, pet,” he purred, and the chemist immediately opened his mouth. And so the feeding continued.

As Victor ate the waffles, a smirk entered Cardia’s face, and she glanced over at Helsing. He smiled—he had a good guess as to what she was thinking, as it was something she did while feeding him—and nodded in affirmation. At that, she grinned, and began.

Her hand crept over the chemist, and Victor was startled at first, looking down while chewing, and then looking over at Cardia. The femme smiled and let her hand land on his stomach, rubbing gently. “May I?” she asked. Victor eagerly nodded, and Cardia smiled. “Thank you, pet. Good boy.”

And so, as Van fed Victor, Cardia rubbed their pet’s belly, gently massaging up and down with her palm. This was clearly turning Victor on, and Van grinned, watching his plaything get lost in the moment. It was glorious.

Then the whispers came. Halfway through the waffles, Victor was chewing when Cardia leaned in and said, “Look how big you’re getting, pet. . .” That clearly had an affect on the chemist, who blushed madly and turned to Cardia in surprise, swallowing as he did so. “Like that?” they asked, and Victor nodded. “Excellent.”

She continued this as they finished the food, rubbing their pet’s belly and saying things like, “That belly’s looking quite big, pet,” and, “You’re doing great—how large will you be at the end, I wonder?” All of it clearly pleasing Victor, sending blushes and delighted smiles to the chemist’s face. Van couldn’t help but grin: the two clearly had so much in common with their kinks, and between the three of them, they were all having a fantastic time together.

When Van turned to the plate again, he was surprised to see that the waffles were gone. That was faster than he expected. “Looks like we’re finished here, pet,” Van said, stroking his plaything’s hair. “Good job.”

“Thanks. Victor smiled, and then he teased, “I wonder what you’re fattening me up for. . .”

“For pleasure, of course,” Van said, smirking. “For our happiness, and yours. Plus, you look _delightful_ when you’re begging for food like this. . .”

The chemist blushed, then an awkward laugh escaped him. Van noticed his anxious expression, and Victor muttered. “Funny that _I’m_ the type to be begging for food. . .”

Helsing frowned and reached out, cupping Victor’s cheek. Cardia put a hand on the chemist’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?” they asked. “Talk to us, Victor.” Van was worried that sub drop was hitting his pet hard again, and was prepared to give him as much comfort as he needed.

But what left Victor’s mouth was something unexpected. The chemist laughed again, and then said, chuckling, “No, no. . . It’s funny to me because I usually . . . don’t . . . eat?” He looked embarrassed.

“What do you mean?” Van asked, worried.

“I usually skip meals,” Victor muttered. “All the time, I don’t eat. I punish myself from food, but I like being fed—isn’t that funny?” He laughed, and then tears were running down his face, which Helsing gently wiped away with his thumb.

“Why do you do that to yourself?” Cardia asked gently, stealing Van’s words.

“I-I don’t know!” Now more tears were falling, more than Van could reasonably remove. He continued to hold the chemist’s cheek, listening intently. “To punish me, I suppose! Because I’m. . . I’m. . .!” 

Victor bit his lip, clearly holding something back. Then he sighed. “I’m sorry. Here I am, letting my personal issues ruin everything again. . .”

“No, no,” Van said gently. He frowned. “Victor, you’re one of the kindest people I know. Why can’t you give some of that kindness back to yourself?”

That clearly surprised the chemist, and he admitted, “I feel like I don’t deserve kindness—not from myself, not from anybody. That’s part of why I’ve been so depressed with you both, I think. Because you’re both so kind. . .”

“Geez, your brain is pretty mean,” Cardia said, reaching around and hugging Victor from the side. “Everyone deserves kindness, pet.”

“That’s right,” Van added. He sighed, thinking back to his roadie days—to Aleister, and how much that man buried his self-worth. “I can relate to what you’re saying, Victor. But Cardia’s right—everybody deserves kindness.” He gently wiped the tears from the chemist’s cheeks. “Especially yourself.”

Victor sighed, smiling. “I know. It’s so hard to remember that. But for you two, I can try. I promise.”

“Do it for _you_ , Victor,” Helsing said to him. “Alright?”

The chemist nodded. Van smiled. “Oh, and I have one more instruction for you, pet.”

Victor looked confused. “What’s that?” he asked.

“You have to feed yourself,” Helsing told him. “Master’s orders.” He tilted Victor’s chin to meet his eyes. “Please. Do you understand?”

“I do,” Victor said.

Van thought back again, and said, “You shouldn’t punish yourself for what happened in the past. Otherwise you never move forward. Trust me.” He looked into Victor’s eyes. “Please, promise your master you’ll take care of yourself.”

“I promise . . . master.”

Van let him go. Victor took a deep breath. “I can’t believe I told you all that,” the chemist muttered. 

“I’m glad you told us,” Cardia said, putting her hand on his arm. “You deserve to be happy too, you know.”

The chemist smiled.

“Thank you. I’ll try to remember that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kink AND Fluff (with a big of angst)?! How can I resist? X3  
> And YES Van does indulge in Cardia's kink even though it's not his thing, because he loves her. <3


	14. Cardia's Request

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cardia uses she/they pronouns. Her pronouns switch each paragraph (it used to be each line, but I've changed that starting now).

Cardia walked down the sidewalk feeling determined. When Victor had left earlier, the man was still insistent that he needed to speak with her and Van about something—and so Cardia suggested they speak in a private room at Isaac’s Corner. Victor had agreed, and she was on her way there now.

She needed to talk to Finis.

When they reached Isaac’s Corner, the atmosphere was lively as usual, jovial even. Every time they came here, they found it harder and harder to believe that it was their father who build this place. The man was the total opposite of the building he created, a cruel and controlling man who she, in all honestly, did not fully miss.

But Finis did. And as she went looking for her brother, she was relieved that they had finally found some sort of reconciliation not that long ago—otherwise, this would be far more difficult.

They found Finis in the back room, as usual, sorting through papers. When they knocked, their brother looked up, and smiled upon seeing Cardia. “Ah, hello sister,” he said, gesturing for her to take a seat. “What brings you here today?”

Cardia sat, closing the door behind her, and took a deep breath. “It’s good to see you too, Finis,” she said. For the first time in a long time, she genuinely meant it. “I was wondering if the private rooms are booked tonight?”

Finis picked up a notebook on his desk and leafed though it, stopping at a page. “None of them are booked,” he told her, picking up a pen. “Should I put you on for Room #3?”

“That would be great!” Cardia said, smiling. “Thanks, bro.”

They stood up to leave, but before they could, Finis spoke. “I’m surprised you want to spend more time at father’s club. You usually don’t come here, aside from your scheduled performances and contributions with the rent. What’s going on?”

Cardia froze. “It’s for a friend,” she told her brother. “That’s all.”

Finis laughed. “Please. I’m sure it’s for more than that.” He cocked his head.

“It’s not your business,” they said firmly. “Really.” They knew Finis didn’t approve of their and Van’s polyamory, and only tolerated it—the last thing she wanted was for her brother to blow a fuse if he discovered they were taking a man they’d dated here.

Finis finally just shrugged. “Fine, fine,” he said. “I’ll put you down for the room, don’t worry sis.”

“Thank you,” Cardia said, relieved. 

There was much more she wanted to say to him. How she couldn’t believe he still idolized their father; how even though they had come to an uneasy truce, and understood each other much better, it still felt like their relationship as siblings was cracking at the seams thanks to that man. How she was recovering from her dad’s traumatic piano lessons with therapy, and plenty of help from Van.

But they knew Finis would just argue, point out how great Isaac Beckford was, how _lucky_ they were to be his children. That even after all this time, her brother worshipped their dad, and refused to budge on that position.

So instead of saying anything, she gave Finis a nod, and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more little things about Cardia's backstory. And yes, Finis is the owner of Isaac's Corner, who Victor saw in Chapter 2.


	15. Talking With The Boys

“So, you and Lupin are dating now?”

Impey nodded in response, giving Victor a big grin. “That’s right! Our coffee outing went swimmingly the other day, and, well, we’ve really clicked for a long time. So we’re dating!”

“That’s fantastic!” Victor exclaimed, taking a sip of his coffee. The two were at the dorm, waiting for Lupin to return from classes.

“Thanks.” Impey grinned, running a hand through his long red hair. “I’ve had my eyes on that guy for a while now, but I didn’t want to say anything since, y’know, we’re roommates and all.” He laughed. “I hope us dating doesn’t make things awkward for you, since you live with us. . .”

Victor shrugged. “I don’t really mind, honestly. Get as awkward as you need.”

“Ha! Might take advantage of that sometime soon,” Impey teased. He took a gulp of hot chocolate, and then said, “So . . . you, Cardia, and Van, huh?”

The chemist hesitated for a moment. Then, he nodded. “Yeah. I’m, um, dating both of them. I hope you don’t find that . . . weird?”

“Weird? No, that’s amazing!” exclaimed Impey, a big smile on his face. Victor let out a sigh of relief. “Van’s a pretty cool dude, and from what I saw of Cardia when I met her the other day, she seems like a really nice person. You’re a lucky guy, Victor.”

“Haha, thanks.” The chemist grinned, but then his grin faded when he remembered what was planned for tonight. “I just hope things won’t fall apart. . .”

“What?! I’m sure everything’s going to be great!” Impey said. “Why would things—?”

“Helloooo!” They turned to the doorway as Lupin entered, carrying his bag behind him. The black-haired man looked around, a cocky smile on his face, and his eyes landed on Impey. “Ah, hello _mi amor_.” He walked over and kissed Impey on the cheek, then turned to his roommate. “I assume you’ve heard the good news?”

“How could I not?” Victor teased. “Impey can’t really keep his mouth shut about stuff like this. . .”

“True, true,” the engineer said, shrugging. “What can I say? Good news deserves to be shared.”

Lupin pulled up a chair and sat down next to Impey. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting something,” he said, glancing from his boyfriend to Victor.

“Not at all,” the chemist said, a shy smile crossing his face. “I was telling Impey that I’m, um, possibly dating two people. Van and Cardia.”

“You’re dating Van now? That’s amazing! And Cardia. . . I think she’s in my Computer Literacy class!” Lupin exclaimed, smiling.

“I told you not to keep that elective until your last year,” Impey teased his boyfriend, nudging him in the ribs. “Naughty naughty.”

“What can I say?” Lupin asked, shrugging. “I save the best for last. Plus, I already know everything about computers, so I’m breezing through it. _And_ I met Victor’s girlfriend.” He realized something, and frowned. “Wait, Victor—what did you mean by ‘possibly’ dating them?”

Victor hesitated. Finally, he admitted, “I’m meeting up with them tonight, and . . . I going to tell them about _that_.”

Both men immediately understood what he meant. They’d been roommates since freshman year, after all, and knew each other better than anyone. 

Lupin frowned. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Don’t rush in and put yourself in an uncomfortable position.”

“I think I have to,” the chemist said, laughing. “I can’t be open with them unless I’m honest with him. Plus, it’ll take a load off my mind—I don’t have to worry about them leaving me if he finds out, not if I them him!”

He took a deep breath. “Van and Cardia are . . . people I care about. And I think they deserve to know.” He turned to Impey and Lupin. “What do you think?”

The two exchanged glances. “You know yourself best,” Lupin finally said. “If you think that’s something you have to do, I don’t think either of us have any right to stop you.”

“And we’ll support you, no matter what!” Impey exclaimed. “You’re our friend, after all—we’ve known each other since freshman year! And we got your back.”

“Thanks.” Victor smiled. “My brain’s telling me they’re going to dump me over this and never talk to me again.”

“Well, your brain is _quite_ rude,” Lupin teased. He looked at the clock. “Now, what do you say we go down to the cafeteria and hang out until Victor has to leave?”

“Ooo, that sounds great!” said Impey, standing up. “Victor, you coming?”

The chemist nodded. “Sure!” He had been planning on staying at the dorm, sweating about what he would say to Van and Cardia, but being with friends sounded much better.

It might keep his mind off things until the inevitable, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end. . .  
> Impey and Lupin dating is a ship I've had for a while, and I'm happy I was able to put it in this fic! C:  
> Btw, Lupin’s major is cybersecurity! He’s training to be a hacker—the 21st century equivalent of a master thief.


	16. Threefold Confessions

Van walked with Cardia to Isaac’s Corner, holding his datemate’s hand. They were going to meet Victor—the chemist apparently wanted to talk to them about something, and it seemed rather serious.

A part of him wondered if the chemist wanted to stop seeing him and Cardia, but Van quickly pushed that aside. _That couldn’t be it_ , he thought, thinking of how much they’d all connected over the past week. At least, he hoped that wasn’t it. He wanted to keep getting to know Victor in a deeper way—he had fallen head over heels for the man, and knew Cardia felt the same way.

He gave his girlfriend a glance. She gave him a smile, and reassuringly squeezed his hand. “Don’t worry, love,” she said to Van. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Um, guys! Over here!”

Upon hearing Victor’s voice, Helsing looked up, a smile crossing his face. There was the man he was in love with, wearing an adorable tweed sweater and jeans, along with the day collar Cardia had given him, and a big smile. And yet, Van noticed that the chemist looked slightly nervous—he hoped everything was alright.

“Why hello, pet,” said Cardia, grinning at Victor. “You certainly dressed for the occasion—and I must say, your collar looks /fabulous/ with that outfit.”

Victor blushed. “Thank you, mast—er, Cardia. Shall we go inside?”

“We shall.” Cardia led the way, letting go of Van’s hand to open the door to Isaac’s Corner. 

Van walked up to Victor put an arm around the chemist. “Ready?” he asked. Victor nodded, though Helsing noticed he still looked anxious. “I’m looking forward to hearing what’s on your mind,” he assured Victor. “Whatever it is, I’m sure we can work through it—together.”

The chemist smiled sadly. “Thank you. I hope so.”

The two followed Cardia inside, and the enby led them along the wall, to a small room. Inside was a table for four, and when Cardia shut the door behind them, Van realized that the sound from outside was sealed off.

“I was able to get a private room for us,” they explained to Victor—of course, Van already knew of her success. “They used to be practice rooms for musicians, so they’re soundproof. Shall we sit?”

Van let go of Victor and sat next to Cardia at the table. Victor sat across from them, fidgeting. “And don’t worry, we won’t be interrupted,” Cardia added. “No waiters checking up on us or anything—I called Finis to make sure we’ll have time alone.”

“Thanks,” Victor said, looking relieved. “That’s good to hear.”

Van nodded. “Now pet, tell us,” he said, leaning forward, taking Victor’s hand. “What’s on your mind?”

“Right.” Victor cleared his throat. For a long moment he was silence, and there was a tense look in his eyes, like the chemist was fighting some intense, inner battle. But then the look faded, and he turned to Van and Cardia.

“I am . . . not . . . a good person,” the chemist said, the words spilling out of his mouth bit by bit. “And there are things about me that . . . that I feel you both should know, if you really want to pursue a romantic relationship with me.”

Cardia frowned. “Can you explain what you mean?”

Victor nodded. He lifted his hand out of Van’s gentle grip, and folded his hands together, staring forward. “Y-You might have noticed I have some trauma around . . . cars,” he finally said, looking away. “That’s because, when I was 18, I was in an accident. An accident . . . that I caused.”

The chemist glanced over at Van and Cardia, nervous eyes checking their reaction. Helsing was surprised, yes, and didn’t know what to think. But more than that, he wanted to tell Victor that he was listening, and tried to convey that with his eyes. Glancing at Cardia, he could see that they, too, were without judgement.

So Victor continued, his voice unsteady. “I was driving to pick up some materials for my school’s science fair. I reached an intersection, turned too early. And then. . .”

The chemist winced, and was a long moment of silence.

“Nobody died, but we were both badly injured, and our cars were totaled,” Victor finally said. “And he told me he’d never forgive me . . . and I’ve never really forgiven myself.”

He looked up at the ceiling, letting out a chuckle. “I’ve been fucked up ever since. I almost killed myself, and I had to take a year off for mental health, alongside the time I spent recovering from the accident and waiting for the court case. . .!”

The chemist turned to Van and Cardia, a sad smile on his face. “The point is, I did something absolutely terrible,” he said quietly. “And that I’m a terrible person, and I don’t deserve you both. I really don’t.” He sighed. “I don’t really know what you two even see in me. You clearly deserve someone better.”

“Sounds like your self-loathing is doing all the talking,” Cardia said, suddenly standing from the table. Van watched her go around to Victor’s side, standing over him. “Is that what you really want, pet? For us to leave you?”

Victor bit his lip. “W-Well, no,” he admitted, swallowing hard. “But I’m just not a good person. I don’t deserve—”

Cardia bent down and wrapped her arms tightly around the chemist. A surprised look crossed Victor’s face, and he let out a small, “Oh.” Then the tears fell, and he sobbed on Cardia’s shoulder.

Van stood up and walked to the other side, wrapping his arms behind Victor and joining the hug, squeezing tightly. “You know we love you, pet,” he murmured in the chemist’s ear, “don’t you?”

“Yes, b-but I don’t deserve that!” Victor sputtered. “I’m a terrible human, and I—”

“You’re not terrible,” Cardia soothed him, running her hands down Victor’s back. “Accidents happen. And we’re not going to hold that against you. You shouldn’t hold that against yourself so much.”

She let go and grabbed the chair across the table, pulling it next to Victor and sitting down. Van sat in the empty chair next to the chemist, and watched the man as he sniffled and cried.

“I know it doesn’t really matter,” Helsing finally said, exchanging a glance with Cardia, who nodded, “but we forgive you.”

“W-What?” Victor sniffed.

“You can’t forgive yourself, so we forgive you,” Van told him.

“You can’t do that!” the chemist sputtered. “Y-You don’t know what happened, you don’t know what I really did!”

“That doesn’t matter,” Helsing said simply. “Because we know Victor Frankenstein is a good person at heart. We know he cares about other people far more than he cares about himself. And if he can’t forgive himself, we’re going to forgive him.”

“That’s darn right,” said Cardia. “Well said, babe.”

Victor swallowed hard. “Y-You. . .” 

Anything the chemist was going to say evaporated as he burst into tears, full-on sobbing into his hands. Van reached an arm around and held the man, letting his hands rest solidly on Victor’s back, and Cardia did the same. 

After a long while, the chemist lifted his head up, sniffing and wiping his nose with his arm. “I was expecting a lot of different reactions,” he finally said, “but I wasn’t expecting that one.”

“What were you expecting?” Cardia asked. “For us to hate you?”

“A little,” Victor admitted. He sighed. “I-I thought you’d say you never wanted to see me again, that I’m as terrible as I imagine myself to be.”

“Well, we don’t think that,” Van assured him. “You’re a wonderful person, Victor. You truly are.”

There was a pause. Van ran a hand through his hair, and added, “And I know what it’s like . . . to believe you’re a terrible person. To be so broken down like that that you don’t think anybody can love you.”

The chemist turned to him. “You do?”

He nodded—and hesitated, swallowing hard, his hands returning to his sides. Memories crashed into him, and he knew in that moment he had to share them, for himself and for Victor. “Back when I worked as a roadie, I worked under a man named Aleister,” he began. Cardia knew this story well, and she reached around and too Van’s hand. “I know now that he . . . targeted me, back when I was a young punk. That he chose his apprentices carefully, and wanted to make them feel as shitty as he felt.”

“That’s terrible!” Victor exclaimed.

“Yeah, Aleister is a real ass,” Cardia said.

Van nodded. “But I didn’t see it at the time. I was really good at being part of the road crew, and I enjoyed it, _and_ it paid well—not to mention the parties were . . . enticing to me, when I was younger. So I didn’t see what Aleister was doing. But then I realized I was a man, and everything changed.”

He turned to Victor. “I didn’t get it until later, but he targeted me because he thought I was a woman, and he wanted power over me. When I came out to him and his other mentees, he flipped out, made me doubt everything I knew about myself, convinced me I was a terrible person for even wanting it. So I put it off, for a long time.

“But one day, I looked around at everything, at the parties and the scene and at myself, and I realized if I wanted to truly feel like _me_ again, I had to get the fuck out.” He sighed, giving his datemate a glance. “Cardia and I were dating at the time, and she really supported me. I was also working with Smashing Skulls at the time, and had a great relationship with them. I really didn’t want to mess that up, but thanks to Cardia, I knew I had to leave.”

“So you did?” Victor asked.

“It took time,” Helsing explained. “I decided to wait until the end of their summer tour, and tell Aleister the news at the end of their last concert.” He sighed. “He did not . . .react well. He said and _did_ some awful things to me that night, touched me in places nobody ever should.”

“Jesus,” the chemist said. He reached over and took Van’s other hand. “I’m so sorry. No one should have to experience that.”

Van nodded his thanks, and continued, “It was a really bad night. But the minute I got home, I was free, and I decided to go to college. I came here, got therapy, transitioned while taking classes and . . . here I am.”

A long silence rested between them. “I’m so sorry,” Victor said again, squeezing Helsing’s hand. “That’s just. . . I’m just sorry.”

Despite everything, Van laughed. “And that’s what I love about you,” he said, smiling. “That even in the midst of all your shit, you still find room for kindness.”

Victor blushed. “. . . I never really saw that before,” he admitted. “I just do what anyone else would.”

“Don’t short-sell yourself,” Cardia said. She leaned over, and gave the chemist a kiss on the cheek. “You’re a good person, Victor.”

Victor smiled. “Thank you. I’ll try to remember that.”

There was a long moment of silence. Then, Cardia said, “I know what it’s like too, Victor . . . to have so much trauma it weighs you down, affects how you feel about yourself.” They glanced over at Victor. “It’s not the same as yours, but . . . it’s something I understand all too well.”

“Yeah?” Victor asked.

She nodded. Van knew exactly what she was about to say, and squeezed Cardia’s hand, reassuring her. “I told you my father wasn’t exactly a saint,” she began. “That’s because he wanted my brother and I to help him become legendary, by making us as talented pianists as he was. So he trained us, from a young age, to play, and his training was strict. Like, ‘get one note wrong and you get hit’ strict.”

Victor’s face distorted with rage. Cardia continued. “It took a long, long time to separate my love for piano from my hatred for my father. But I still feel it. Sometimes, when I sit down to play, I’m scared of getting a note wrong, because I can still feel his slap against my cheek. It affects so much of my life—when I first met Van, I would cry when I got things wrong, because I thought he was going to hit me, too.”

“Jesus.” Victor shook his head. “Cardia, I’m so sorry.”

They took a deep breath. And they gave Victor a smile. “What I and Van are trying to say is that you’re not alone, pet,” they said, reaching out and gently stroking Victor’s cheek. “We understand how you feel, probably better than most. And we know that you’re not a terrible person—no matter how much your brain says so. Understand?”

Victor nodded, tears running down his cheeks yet again. “I-I’ve been starting to understand that more since I met you,” he admitted, sniffling. “That I don’t have to deserve love, that I can be loved just as I am, and just where I am . . . so thank you.” He looked from Cardia to Van. “Thank you both.”

“I’m glad we could help you love yourself, pet,” Van said, bursting with happiness. “You deserve that. You really do.”

The chemist smiled. He cleared his throat. “Err . . . what do you say we get some food, then?” he asked the other two. “Celebrate, I guess.”

“That sounds great,” Cardia said. She pretended to faint in her chair. “Sharing tragic backstories can really get a person hungry.”

Victor laughed. “I’ll say.” He fidgeted for a moment, then said, “I’ll treat you both this time. If that’s alright?”

“Of course, pet,” Van said, reaching over and gently petting Victor’s hair. “That sounds lovely.”

Cardia grinned, and stood from the table.

“I’ll go get service. Then we can order some food.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;u;  
> Not the rejection you were expecting, ay Victor?


	17. Moving In

_Four months later. . ._

“Here, let me help you with that!”

Impey grabbed the box from the ground and brought it into the apartment with a flourish. Victor laughed. “Well, if you insist,” he told his friend, and turned around to see Lupin grabbing his other box.

“We do insist,” his former roommate teased, laughing. He brought the box inside, just as Impey was stepping out.

“I can’t believe you’re finally moving out, Fran!” the engineer sobbed, hugging the chemist tightly. “What will we ever do without you?”

“Probably be more comfortable making out and fucking,” Victor teased, giving Impey a tight hug back.

Impey laughed. “Fair enough, fair enough.”

“Sounds like you guys are having fun out here!” a familiar voice called. The men let go of each other, and turned to see Cardia and Van exiting the apartment, along with Lupin, who was trailing behind them. “Starting the party without us, huh?” Cardia teased.

“We were just saying goodbye,” Victor explained to them, giving Impey a smile.

The engineer was crying again. “I’m really going to miss you, Fran!”

“Come on, just because he’s moving out doesn’t mean he’s gone,” Lupin teased, walking up to his boyfriend and kissing his cheek. “We’ll still see each other on campus, after all. And you can always call.”

“That’s right,” Victor assured Impey.

Impey sniffled. “Still, though . . . group hug?”

And so the three embraced, clinging tightly to each other for a moment before letting go. “See you soon,” Victor said.

“See you soon,” Lupin agreed, giving his friend a salute. He and a crying Impey got onto Lupin’s motorcycle, and drove away.

Victor watched them go. Moving out of their dorm was a bittersweet venture, but living with Van and Cardia was an exciting new prospect. He turned to his lovers with a smile. “Well then. . . Shall we go inside?”

“Just a moment.” Van walked up to him and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “You didn’t forget anything, did you?”

Victor shook his head, confused. “No, I made sure to bring everything. I even got my new meds.”

Van smiled. “Glad you didn’t forget those, love—that’s important. But I hope you didn’t forget that we promised a moving gift for you.”

“That’s right!” Anxious but excited, Victor turned to Helsing and Cardia. “What is it?”

Cardia grinned, pulling something out of her pocket. It was a small box, and when she opened it, the contents were revealed: a new collar, the same green as the other one, but with a bone charm hanging off of it.

“It’s beautiful!” Victor gasped, picking it up gently from the box. He smiled at Cardia and Van. “Thank you so much.”

“I’m glad you like it! We chose it together—figured you’d appreciate it,” the enby femme explained. They smirked. “Want to . . . give it a test drive tonight?”

The chemist laughed. Some things never changed—and that was fine by him.

“Of course, my loves.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of the main story! The start of side stories!  
> They'll be posted whenever I have the time/energy to write them. To start, I'll be re-uploading the Victor's birthday post to this page. Then who knows what else will be posted! You'll have to wait and seeeeee! :3c


	18. Side Story: Victor's Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bunch of us in the C:R Discord decided to write stories for Victor's birthday! C: I hope you enjoy!  
> Takes place in the same continuity as Minor Keys, Major Struggles: Poly(phonic) Version https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561069/chapters/62027716 . This is sometime after that fic.  
> Cardia uses she/they pronouns.  
> Warning: kinkiness abounds!

Van was away, but that didn’t mean Cardia and Victor weren’t going to have some fun together. Especially considering today was a special occasion: Victor’s birthday.

“Y-You don’t have to do anything for me!” the chemist stammered. When he left the bedroom and saw the ace femme preparing a cake, he became quite surprised and flustered. “Really, I don’t do much for my birthday anyway. . .”

“Well, I figure we could make it special!” Cardia said cheerfully, stirring the batter and emptying it int the pan. They grinned and turned to their pet. “Come on, Victor. When’s the last time you celebrated your birthday like this?”

“Um. . .” He paused. In all honesty, he couldn’t really _remember_ when the last time was—the last few years he had been so wrapped up in self-hatred and regret, that he didn’t _let_ himself truly celebrate his special day. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I guess I haven’t really thought about it. . .”

“Well love, don’t worry,” Cardia said, placing the cake in the oven. After setting a timer, she walked up to Victor and gave him a nice, warm hug. “You deserve to be celebrated, so let’s do that.” She let go of him with a smile. “Today’s your day. Understand?”

It was a really nice thing for the chemist to hear—doubly so coming from one of his masters. Victor nodded, a grin entering his face. “Alright. Thank you, Cardia.”

“Of course.” She reached out and patted his shoulder with a smirk. “Besides, any reason to feed you is a good time in my book~!”

The chemist laughed. “I-I’d have to agree there. . .”

They both sat down at the table and waited for the cake to be ready. “While that’s baking, we got you some presents,” Cardia said, reaching out behind the couch and pulling out two big boxes. “From Van and me.”

“Oh!” Victor said, surprised. He smiled, blushing. “You really went all-out, huh?”

“Anything for you, pet,” they said, passing him one of the boxes. “Here. This one’s from Van.”

“Alright.” He daintily picked off the wrapping paper, carving his way inside until he found the lid of the box. Then he opened it.

“Oh!” Victor said, reaching inside. He pulled out a Bunsen burner, several Erlenmeyer flasks, and a few small beakers, all wrapped in Styrofoam to prevent damage. Beneath them was a chemistry book by one of Victor’s favorite authors. “I told him some of my equipment broke—I didn’t think you both would get all this!” he exclaimed. “It must have been quite expensive. . .”

“Hey, it’s your birthday, pet—you deserve it.” Cardia grinned, handing him the other box. “And speaking of pets, here’s my gift.”

“I wonder what’s inside,” the chemist teased. “Something related to our roleplay, perhaps?”

“Don’t get cocky with your master,” they said, laughing. “Just open it.”

Victor made his way inside the box, and removed the lid. “Wow!” he exclaimed, reaching in. The box was full of various violin equipment (resin, extra strings, and much more), along with some wood polish for the instrument, and plenty of sheet music (blank and filled). Underneath it was a large bone-shaped pillow, and a headband with fluffy dog ears (made of faux fur, of course).

“Like it?” Cardia asked. “I had trouble picking out the perfect dog ears for you. . . In the end, I went with golden retriever.”

“They’re beautiful,” Victor gasped. He immediately put them on, placing the headband on his scalp with a huge smile. “And the extra things for my violin is so thoughtful—I can’t wait to see what songs you got me!”

The femme enby grinned. “I’m glad you like them, love.”

She leaned over the kissed him on the cheek. “Happy birthday, Victor Frankenstein.”

The timer beeped, and both Victor and Cardia exchanged excited glances. “Time to feed my pet,” she said, standing up from the table.

Victor watched them get the cake. A smile crossed his face, and he reached up, stroking his new dog ears.

This was going to be a great birthday indeed.


	19. Side Story: Van's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Van's birthday has arrived, so I wrote a fic. Enjoy! :3  
> Warning: kinkiness abounds!

“Surprise!”

Victor and Cardia burst out of the bedroom, surprising Van Helsing completely. The man stumbled backwards into the kitchen, but managed to grab hold of a chair before he fell to the ground.

“Well,” Van managed to say, smiling, “this is unexpected.”

“Unexpected?!” Cardia exclaimed, making a silly face. “It’s your birthday, you doof. Like you weren’t expecting a present or two today.”

“I wasn’t expecting a surprise,” Helsing corrected them in a teasing voice, sitting down at the kitchen table. The other two did the same, bringing two wrapped boxes from inside the bedroom. “Looks like you went all out.”

Victor blushed. “Well, it’s for you, so . . . of course we did!”

Cardia laughed. “Victor’s right. You matter to us a lot, Van. We hope our presents reflect that.”

She handed him her gift, a tiny box that fit perfectly in Helsing’s palm. Curious, the man tore off the wrapping paper, and found a box for jewelry. Opening it, he saw a necklace inside, and a small collar with a bell at the end.

Van smiled and looked up at Cardia. “Looks like my master knows what I’m after,” he teased, picking up the collar and strapping it around his neck. “I look good in black leather, don’t I?”

“You do,” said Victor, smiling. “You look great. . .”

Picking up the necklace, Van saw that it read on the back, “For One Of My Favorite Pets.” He put it on with a smile. “Thank you, Cardia,” he said. “This day collar is lovely.”

Cardia grinned. “I’m glad you like it.”

Van turned to Victor. “What do you have for me, love?”

Victor smiled. “Well, I don’t know if I can beat Cardia’s gifts. . .”

“As if it’s a competition,” Cardia said. “Come on, Van’s going to love it.”

Victor nodded, and gave Van the present with a smile on his face. Helsing took the gift and gently removed the wrapping paper. Inside was a nondescript cardboard box, and he opened that to reveal. . .

“Whoa!” Van exclaimed, pulling out the shirt. “This is beautiful, Victor!” It was a long-sleeved sweater with a punk skull on the front, wearing a mohawk and smoking a cigarette. Van immediately took off his shirt and put on his gift. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” Victor said, looking relieved. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Of course I do,” Van said. He opened his arms and said, “Group hug? Then afterwards, perhaps we can discuss some more . . . intimate activities for my birthday.”

“Absolutely!” said Victor.

Cardia smirked. “This is going to be fun.”

And so the three hugged it out, on that beautiful February morning. It was going to be a good day.


End file.
